Taking your secrets to the grave!
Are you sick of relying on living, breathing people to transmit your messages? Do you not trust your mailman with your valuable secrets? Try Crypt(ge)ography, the only encrypted messaging service that uses the ironclad trustworthiness of the deceased. Crypt(ge)ography uses the graves and other sites of eternal rest to safeguard your private information in transit - dead men (and women and non-binary friends and occassionally animals) tell no tales, or sensitive secrets!
Inspired by telling your secret to the nearest available person of note, sending them to the great beyond, moving their body to a different burial location, and then writing a Wikipedia page about them, and then telling a friend a weird jumble of characters and the name of said person of note, so they can resurrect them and be whispered the message - Crypt(ge)ography removes the unnecessary step of telling someone the secret and resurrecting them, instead using the burial location to encode an encryption/decryption key. Then, instead of being a secure system, we perform a fancy substitution cipher because generating prime numbers for RSA is Hard™️.