There are two distinct and complementary 'modes' or 'spaces' that we operate in as partners. Org Space concerns itself with getting the work done. Moving the company towards its purpose tactically and strategically. Our Operating Model spells out the details of our Org Space agreements. When operating in Org Space we intentionally put our personal tensions aside and step into our roles and function from there.
We are, however, much more than our roles. In our work together we are affected as people, not just as roles. In the course of working with each other, we impact each other. Toes get stepped on, feelings get hurt, friendships start and end. Misunderstandings. Attraction. Power struggles. You name it.
Our Tribe agreements are our attempt to deliberately address our interpersonal relationships, and care for them. In doing so, we are more able to fulfill our organizations' purpose.
For this reason, every partner takes on a secondary purpose: to co-create a thriving culture for our team that brings out the best in us
These are the agreements we keep in our daily work and interactions with each other and with our stakeholders in order to care for our Tribe Space.
Speaking my truth clearly and authentically. Keeping my word. Calling out and repairing my mistakes (even when no one is looking). Choosing courage over comfort. Doing what's right over what's expedient or fun. Practicing the values I profess. Having good boundaries and honoring others' boundaries. Being reliable. "own it" when out of Integrity
The intention of this agreement is to build a low-drama, low-politics culture: A team where everyone is confident that they are respected and honored when they're not present.
Don't gossip. Don't build political alliances to get work done. If you mention someone's name when they're not present do it in the same way you would if they were present. If you have feedback for a partner, the best and only place for this feedback is to give it to them directly. If that's not working, get others to join the conversation.
If you have feedback for supporting staff, or other stakeholders, do your best to give it directly to them. If that's not possible/efficient/effective it's OK to talk about them with another partner.
We are human. Personal conflicts will come up as we work together. When you feel that something personal is beginning to get in the way of you working optimally with another partner, address it directly with them as soon as you can.
We call this process "clearing a withhold".
A withhold is anything that I'm "holding" in my mind or heart, that's keeping me from feeling "clear" with you.
Withholds come in many different flavors:
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A Pinch: Something someone did, that "pinched" my ego. I could let it go, but it's building a small level of resentment, so I'll just say it. For example: "When you didn't respond to that question I asked in the meeting I felt snubbed". Pinches are quick to resolve, and usually don't need more than a "thank you" in response.
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A Reality Check: We make up stories all the time about each other. If you notice a belief forming in your mind about someone else, ask them about it. For example: "I noticed that whenever I talk about anything related to marketing, you seem to zone out. I'm starting to make up a story in my mind that you think I'm shitty at marketing. Is there any truth to that?"
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A Reflection: We can see things in others that they don't see in themselves. Sometimes it's important to make room for a reflection in order to clear the air between us. Reflections can be "negative" or "positive" feedback about how we are relating personally to someone. This is distinctly different from feedback about their work product. For example: "Your accent reminds me of this guy who used to bully me, and sometimes I notice myself mad at you for no reason." or "I really like your writing style. I've always wanted to write like that and sometimes I notice that I feel intimidated and jealous of you."
Sharing reflections in this way, and being heard, can often diffuse the withhold, and reduce its charge.
Another good use of sharing a reflection, is with regards to the Five Personal Practices. Because these practices are interpersonal, giving and receiving reflections from each other on our progress and the areas where we need to practice more supports them in staying alive.
If you tried to clear a withhold with someone and failed, use our Conflict Resloution Process to resolve it.
Our agreements are meaningless if we don't hold ourselves and each other accountable to them. It is crucial that we step up to violated promises, broken commitments and bad behavior. In doing so, we maintain our integrity, and support each other lovingly and firmly in doing the same.
Our interpersonal practices are aspirational. By definition, we will not do them perfectly, or consistently. Our commitment is to practice, fail, and then return again to the practice. Reminding each other when we forget, and reflecting to each other as we progress.
We treat ourselves and others with dignity, respect and an open heart. We assume good intentions and give others the benefit of doubt.
We are present. Fully engaging our work. Mind, body, heart and spirit. We don't hold back.
We assume full ownership of our collective purpose and our role(s) in it. We don't blame or avoid. We own our experience, and our emotions.
We are real with each other. We minimize bullshit and call people on it (kindly).
On the flip side of choosing radical honesty, we choose to be vulnerable. Vulnerability means choosing to be impacted by someone else's truth and being committed to putting down our defenses/reactions/shame and to being touched/moved.
Because of our collective history and the poor design of the social and economic systems we operate in, the dice are loaded. Racism, sexism, classism, homophobia are some of the many ways there is a systematic imbalance of power and privilege in our society.
If we are to earnestly attempt to fulfill the purpose of "a dignified livelihood for everyone" we need to commit to developing a deep and evolving understanding of how oppression works. In doing this, we need to address how oppression is systemic. More directly, we need to address how we ourselves have been conditioned to be a part of the system: how we might be unconsciously biased, and how we may act or speak in ways that perpetuate oppression.
We can not hope to do our work well if we don't examine ourselves (both individually and as a team) through the lens of our internalized oppression and social privilege. Our identities strongly influence how much power and privilege we are systematically denied or given by society; to have true empathy in a diverse team (and in a diverse organization) requires both self-awareness and social consciousness.
Part of our work is to be aware of our privileges and of the responsibilities that comes with them. Part of our work is to learn to stand fully in our power without shame, guilt, or apology. To learn to leverage this power towards our purpose with humility, gratitude and even joy. To meet the pain and injustice of the situation with compassionate understanding. And to make a fierce commitment to being allies to each other, and to all our stakeholders.