diff --git a/.gitignore b/.gitignore
index 3e696c6..3d69dcd 100644
--- a/.gitignore
+++ b/.gitignore
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 # Generated files by hugo
 /public/
-/resources/_gen/
+/resources/
 /assets/jsconfig.json
 hugo_stats.json
 
diff --git a/.gitmodules b/.gitmodules
index d25c869..1fd8da9 100644
--- a/.gitmodules
+++ b/.gitmodules
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
-[submodule "themes/mini"]
-	path = themes/mini
-	url = https://github.com/nodejh/hugo-theme-mini.git
 [submodule "themes/PaperMod"]
 	path = themes/PaperMod
 	url = https://github.com/adityatelange/hugo-PaperMod.git
+[submodule "themes/optom-code"]
+	path = themes/optom-code
+	url = https://github.com/shivan-s/hugo-optom-code.git
diff --git a/.pre-commit-config.yaml b/.pre-commit-config.yaml
index 973b04a..d010173 100644
--- a/.pre-commit-config.yaml
+++ b/.pre-commit-config.yaml
@@ -15,9 +15,13 @@ repos:
       - id: check-yaml
       - id: check-json
     repo: https://github.com/pre-commit/pre-commit-hooks
-    rev: v4.6.0
+    rev: v5.0.0
   - hooks:
       - id: optimize-png
       - id: optimize-jpg
+      # FIXME: Keeps endlessly optimising
+      # - id: optimize-webp
+      #   args: [--threshold=2]
+      - id: optimize-svg
     repo: https://github.com/boidolr/pre-commit-images
-    rev: v1.7.0
+    rev: v1.8.2
diff --git a/archetypes/post-bundle/index.md b/archetypes/post-bundle/index.md
index 067ece1..676b7ee 100644
--- a/archetypes/post-bundle/index.md
+++ b/archetypes/post-bundle/index.md
@@ -3,7 +3,6 @@ author: Shivan Sivakumaran
 title: {{ replace .Name "-" " " | title }}
 date: {{ .Date | time.Format "2006-01-02" }}
 summary: summary
-categories: [""]
 tags: [""]
 draft: true
 cover:
diff --git a/archetypes/project-bundle/index.md b/archetypes/project-bundle/index.md
deleted file mode 100644
index 018090e..0000000
--- a/archetypes/project-bundle/index.md
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,26 +0,0 @@
----
-author: Shivan Sivakumaran
-title: { { replace .Name "-" " " | title } }
-date: { { .Date | time.Format "2006-01-02" } }
-summary: summary
-categories: ["project"]
-tags: [""]
-draft: true
-cover:
-  image: image.jpg
-  alt: alt text
-  caption: caption
-  relative: false
-  hidden: false
----
-
-Introductions
-
-### Technologies
-
--
-
-### Resources
-
-- Live link: []()
-- [Source code]()
diff --git a/assets/css/extended/custom.css b/assets/css/extended/custom.css
deleted file mode 100644
index 71df04d..0000000
--- a/assets/css/extended/custom.css
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,31 +0,0 @@
-:root {
-  --primary-color: #196680;
-  --secondary-color: #80DFFF;
-  --alternative-color: #FF9B33;
-}
-a {
-  color: var(--primary-color);
-}
-.dark a {
-  color: var(--secondary-color);
-}
-
-a:hover {
-  color: var(--alternative-color);
-}
-
-h1,
-h2,
-h3 {
-  color: var(--primary-color);
-}
-
-.dark h1,
-.dark h2,
-.dark h3 {
-  color: var(--secondary-color);
-}
-
-.dark .pagination a {
-  color: var(--primary-color);
-}
diff --git a/assets/js/fastsearch.js b/assets/js/fastsearch.js
deleted file mode 100644
index 0a154fc..0000000
--- a/assets/js/fastsearch.js
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,165 +0,0 @@
-import * as params from "@params";
-
-var fuse; // holds our search engine
-var resList = document.getElementById("searchResults");
-var sInput = document.getElementById("searchInput");
-var first,
-  last,
-  current_elem = null;
-var resultsAvailable = false;
-
-// load our search index
-window.onload = function () {
-  var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest();
-  xhr.onreadystatechange = function () {
-    if (xhr.readyState === 4) {
-      if (xhr.status === 200) {
-        var data = JSON.parse(xhr.responseText);
-        if (data) {
-          // fuse.js options; check fuse.js website for details
-          var options = {
-            distance: 100,
-            threshold: 0.4,
-            ignoreLocation: true,
-            keys: ["title", "permalink", "summary", "content"],
-          };
-          if (params.fuseOpts) {
-            options = {
-              isCaseSensitive: params.fuseOpts.iscasesensitive
-                ? params.fuseOpts.iscasesensitive
-                : false,
-              includeScore: params.fuseOpts.includescore
-                ? params.fuseOpts.includescore
-                : false,
-              includeMatches: params.fuseOpts.includematches
-                ? params.fuseOpts.includematches
-                : false,
-              minMatchCharLength: params.fuseOpts.minmatchcharlength
-                ? params.fuseOpts.minmatchcharlength
-                : 1,
-              shouldSort: params.fuseOpts.shouldsort
-                ? params.fuseOpts.shouldsort
-                : true,
-              findAllMatches: params.fuseOpts.findallmatches
-                ? params.fuseOpts.findallmatches
-                : false,
-              keys: params.fuseOpts.keys
-                ? params.fuseOpts.keys
-                : ["title", "permalink", "summary", "content"],
-              location: params.fuseOpts.location ? params.fuseOpts.location : 0,
-              threshold: params.fuseOpts.threshold
-                ? params.fuseOpts.threshold
-                : 0.4,
-              distance: params.fuseOpts.distance
-                ? params.fuseOpts.distance
-                : 100,
-              ignoreLocation: params.fuseOpts.ignorelocation
-                ? params.fuseOpts.ignorelocation
-                : true,
-            };
-          }
-          fuse = new Fuse(data, options); // build the index from the json file
-        }
-      } else {
-        console.log(xhr.responseText);
-      }
-    }
-  };
-  xhr.open("GET", "https://shivan.xyz/index.json");
-  xhr.send();
-};
-
-function activeToggle(ae) {
-  document.querySelectorAll(".focus").forEach(function (element) {
-    // rm focus class
-    element.classList.remove("focus");
-  });
-  if (ae) {
-    ae.focus();
-    document.activeElement = current_elem = ae;
-    ae.parentElement.classList.add("focus");
-  } else {
-    document.activeElement.parentElement.classList.add("focus");
-  }
-}
-
-function reset() {
-  resultsAvailable = false;
-  resList.innerHTML = sInput.value = ""; // clear inputbox and searchResults
-  sInput.focus(); // shift focus to input box
-}
-
-// execute search as each character is typed
-sInput.onkeyup = function (e) {
-  // run a search query (for "term") every time a letter is typed
-  // in the search box
-  if (fuse) {
-    const results = fuse.search(this.value.trim()); // the actual query being run using fuse.js
-    if (results.length !== 0) {
-      // build our html if result exists
-      let resultSet = ""; // our results bucket
-
-      for (let item in results) {
-        resultSet +=
-          `<li class="post-entry"><header class="entry-header">${results[item].item.title}&nbsp;»</header>` +
-          `<a href="${results[item].item.permalink}" aria-label="${results[item].item.title}"></a></li>`;
-      }
-
-      resList.innerHTML = resultSet;
-      resultsAvailable = true;
-      first = resList.firstChild;
-      last = resList.lastChild;
-    } else {
-      resultsAvailable = false;
-      resList.innerHTML = "";
-    }
-  }
-};
-
-sInput.addEventListener("search", function (e) {
-  // clicked on x
-  if (!this.value) reset();
-});
-
-// kb bindings
-document.onkeydown = function (e) {
-  let key = e.key;
-  var ae = document.activeElement;
-
-  let inbox = document.getElementById("searchbox").contains(ae);
-
-  if (ae === sInput) {
-    var elements = document.getElementsByClassName("focus");
-    while (elements.length > 0) {
-      elements[0].classList.remove("focus");
-    }
-  } else if (current_elem) ae = current_elem;
-
-  if (key === "Escape") {
-    reset();
-  } else if (!resultsAvailable || !inbox) {
-    return;
-  } else if (key === "ArrowDown") {
-    e.preventDefault();
-    if (ae == sInput) {
-      // if the currently focused element is the search input, focus the <a> of first <li>
-      activeToggle(resList.firstChild.lastChild);
-    } else if (ae.parentElement != last) {
-      // if the currently focused element's parent is last, do nothing
-      // otherwise select the next search result
-      activeToggle(ae.parentElement.nextSibling.lastChild);
-    }
-  } else if (key === "ArrowUp") {
-    e.preventDefault();
-    if (ae.parentElement == first) {
-      // if the currently focused element is first item, go to input box
-      activeToggle(sInput);
-    } else if (ae != sInput) {
-      // if the currently focused element is input box, do nothing
-      // otherwise select the previous search result
-      activeToggle(ae.parentElement.previousSibling.lastChild);
-    }
-  } else if (key === "ArrowRight") {
-    ae.click(); // click on active link
-  }
-};
diff --git a/config.yaml b/config.yaml
index aef25bb..9dd6d6a 100644
--- a/config.yaml
+++ b/config.yaml
@@ -2,147 +2,18 @@
 baseURL: "https://shivan.xyz/"
 languageCode: "en-us"
 title: "Shivan Sivakumaran"
-theme: "PaperMod"
-paginate: 7
+theme: "optom-code"
 defaultContentLanguage: en
 
 enableRobotsTXT: true
 buildDrafts: false
-buildFuture: false
+buildFuture: true
 buildExpired: false
 
 minify:
-  disableXML: true
   minifyOutput: true
 
 params:
-  env: production
-  title: Shivan Sivakumaran
-  description: "Shivan Sivakumaran Personal Blog"
-  keywords: [Blog, Programming, Optometry, Life]
-  author: Shivan Sivakumaran
-  DateFormat: "January 2, 2006"
-  defaultTheme: auto
-  disableThemeToggle: false
-
-  ShowReadingTime: true
-  ShowShareButtons: true
-  ShowPostNavLinks: true
-  ShowBreadCrumbs: true
-  ShowCodeCopyButtons: true
-  ShowWordCount: false
-  ShowRssButtonInSectionTermList: true
-  UseHugoToc: true
-  disableSpecial1stPost: true
-  comments: true
-  disableScrollToTop: false
-  hidemeta: false
-  hideSummary: false
-  showtoc: true
-  tocopen: true
-
-  assets:
-  disableHLJS: true # to disable highlight.js
-  # disableFingerprinting: true
-  favicon: favicon.png
-  favicon16x16: favicon.png
-  favicon32x32: favicon.png
-  apple_touch_icon: favicon.png
-  safari_pinned_tab: favicon.png
-
-  label:
-    text: "Shivan Sivakumaran"
-    icon: favicon.ico
-    iconHeight: 35
-
-  # profile-mode
-  profileMode:
-    enabled: true # needs to be explicitly set
-    title: Shivan Sivakumaran
-    subtitle: Web Developer & ex-Optometrist
-    imageUrl: shivan.png
-    imageWidth: 120
-    imageHeight: 120
-    imageTitle: Me!
-    buttons:
-      - name: About
-        url: about
-      - name: Projects
-        url: projects
-      - name: Posts
-        url: posts
-
-  # home-info mode
-  homeInfoParams:
-    Title: "Shivan Sivakumaran"
-    Content: "Web Developer & Optometrist"
-
-  socialIcons:
-    - name: github
-      url: "https://github.com/shivan-s"
-    - name: substack
-      url: "https://email.shivan.xyz"
-    - name: twitter
-      url: "https://twitter.com/shivsivakumaran"
-    - name: linkedin
-      url: "https://www.linkedin.com/in/shivan-sivakumaran/"
-    - name: twitch
-      url: "https://www.twitch.tv/shivan_si"
-    - name: youtube
-      url: "https://youtube.com/@ShivanS"
-    - name: mastodon
-      url: "https://fosstodon.org/@shivan"
-      rel: "me"
-
-  disqusShortname: shivan-xyz
-
-  cover:
-    hidden: false # hide everywhere but not in structured data
-    hiddenInList: false # hide on list pages and home
-    hiddenInSingle: false # hide on single page
-    responsiveImages: false
-    linkFullImages: false
-
-  editPost:
-    URL: "https://github.com/shivan-s/shivan.xyz/tree/main/content"
-    Text: "Suggest Changes" # edit text
-    appendFilePath: true # to append file path to Edit link
-
-  # for search
-  # https://fusejs.io/api/options.html
-  outputs:
-    home:
-      - HTML
-      - RSS
-      - JSON
-
-  fuseOpts:
-    isCaseSensitive: false
-    shouldSort: true
-    location: 0
-    distance: 1000
-    threshold: 0.4
-    minMatchCharLength: 0
-    keys: ["title", "permalink", "summary", "content"]
-
-menu:
-  main:
-    - identifier: about
-      name: about
-      url: /about/
-      weight: 1
-    - identifier: projects
-      name: projects
-      url: /projects/
-      weight: 3
-    - identifier: posts
-      name: posts
-      url: /posts/
-      weight: 4
-    - identifier: search
-      name: archive 🔍
-      url: /archive/
-      weight: 5
-    - identifier: newsletter
-      name: newsletter
-      url: https://email.shivan.xyz
+  author:
+    name: Shivan Sivakumaran
+    email: me@shivan.xyz
diff --git a/content/about/_index.md b/content/about/_index.md
deleted file mode 100644
index ed88e53..0000000
--- a/content/about/_index.md
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,47 +0,0 @@
----
-author: Shivan Sivakumaran
-title: About
-aliases: ["about", "contact"]
-enableComments: false
-draft: false
-cover:
-  image: shivan-sivakumaran.jpg
-  alt: a main smiling in black and white
-  caption: Me.
-  relative: true
-  hidden: false
----
-
-## Who am I?
-
-My name is Shivan (pronounced Shiv-arn).
-
-I am Kiwi born 🇳🇿 with Sri Lankan 🇱🇰 heritage.
-
-I am a Web developer after 7 years working as an optometrist.
-
-## What am I focusing on?
-
-1. Getting good at web development and programming
-
-- Building projects - [Check it out!]({{< ref "/projects/_index.md" >}})
-- [Open source contribution](https://github.com/shivan-s)
-
-2. Growing my content, sharing my journey and helping others
-
-- 📹 [A YouTube channel](https://youtube.com/c/shivansivakumaran)
-- ✉️ [Email Newsletter](https://email.shivan.xyz)
-- ✍🏾[This Blog]({{< ref "posts" >}})
-
-3. Maintaining my body
-
-- 🏋️Weightlifting
-- 🥋 Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
-- 🕺 Pole and Latin Dance
-
-4. Maintaining my mind
-
-- 📓 Writing
-- 📷 Photography
-- ✏️ Drawing
-- 📚 Reading
diff --git a/content/about/index.md b/content/about/index.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1a88ca1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/content/about/index.md
@@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: About
+draft: false
+---
+
+My name is Shivan (pronounced Shiv-arn).
+
+I am Kiwi born 🇳🇿 with Sri Lankan 🇱🇰 heritage.
+
+I currently work as a **Web Developer** after 7 years working as an **[Optometrist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optometry)**.
+
+I am also on [BlueSky](https://bsky.app/profile/shivan.xyz), [GitHub](https://github.com/shivan-s), [YouTube](https://youtube.com/c/shivansivakumaran), [LinkedIn](https://linkedin.com/shivan-sivakumaran), [Twitch](https://twitch.com/shivan__s) & [Instagram](https://instagram.com/shivan_s).
+
+## What am I focusing on?
+
+1. Getting good at web development and programming
+
+- [Building projects](https://github.com/shivan-s)
+
+2. I communicate my journey and ideas:
+
+- ✍🏾 [Through this Blog]({{< ref "posts" >}})
+
+3. Maintaining my body
+
+- 🥋 [Brazilian Jiu Jitsu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_jiu-jitsu)
+- 🕺 [Latin Dance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin_dance)
+- 🕺 [Pole Dance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pole_dance)
+- 🏋️ [Weightlifting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympic_weightlifting)
+
+4. Maintaining my mind
+
+- 📓 Writing
+- 📷 Photography
+- ✏️ Drawing
+- 📚 Reading
+
+## Milestones
+
+- **1993**: Born in [Palmerston North](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palmerston_North) — where I spent most of my life growing up
+- **2016**: Graduated from the [University of Auckland](https://www.auckland.ac.nz/en.html) as a fully qualified [optometrist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optometry) and moved down to [Christchurch](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christchurch) to start my working life
+- **2020**: [Began writing online]({{< ref "posts/why-create-a-blog" >}})
+- **2021**: Moved back to Palmerston North to focus on a career change away from optometry into software development.
+- **2023**: Started a new career as a web developer.
+
+## Photos
+
+{{<figure src="/shivan-sivakumaran.jpg" alt="Black and white image of a man smiling" caption="Me at a Dance Festival">}}
diff --git a/content/posts/life/alcohol-free/alcohol-free.png b/content/posts/alcohol-free/alcohol-free.png
similarity index 100%
rename from content/posts/life/alcohol-free/alcohol-free.png
rename to content/posts/alcohol-free/alcohol-free.png
diff --git a/content/posts/life/alcohol-free/index.md b/content/posts/alcohol-free/index.md
similarity index 100%
rename from content/posts/life/alcohol-free/index.md
rename to content/posts/alcohol-free/index.md
diff --git a/content/posts/appahappah/index.md b/content/posts/appahappah/index.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..da15679
--- /dev/null
+++ b/content/posts/appahappah/index.md
@@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Appahappah/Grandfather
+date: 2023-11-06
+summary: Remembering a life
+tags: ["appahappah", "life", "death", "grandfather"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  image: remembering.webp
+  alt: Elderly man in a newspaper
+  caption: My Appahappah/Grandfather
+  relative: false
+  hidden: false
+---
+
+On the 4th of November, my 97-year-old (paternal) grandfather passed away.
+
+It's been 20 years since we experienced death in our family, with my material grandparents passing away in close chronology to one another when I was roughly ten years old (I am thirty now).
+
+My father wished he could be there for his father’s last days. He was actually due to make a trip later this month.
+
+My fondest memory with my grandfather was our discussiong around the [Bhagavad Gita](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhagavad_Gita). It was these conversations that shaped my present-day thinking: life is about duty and to perform that duty very well.
+
+## The Man Himself
+
+![Young man sailing](./sailing.webp)
+
+My Grandfather had an interesting past and present. He had worked as a teacher, then for the United Nations fisheries. If I had to describe my Grandfather, one thought that would come to mind is that he was blunt and didn’t show a lot of emotion, but he was full of love and affection which can in a very traditional male-esque way.
+
+He contributed a lot to his surrounding community during his retirement. He was a philanthropist, supporting many causes centring around war victims in Sri Lanka. Those included children who were made orphans as well as women who were made widows. He did this by creating opportunities for education and vocation — supporting tutors for children, and establishing a sewing school as some examples.
+
+In the days following the funeral ceremony, I had a good opportunity to hang out with my cousins where we explored Colombo. We made a pack to not let time slip without seeing each other. **What I learnt from my Grandfather's passing is that life is short, and it’s important to make time for things that matter most, like seeing family despite geographic distance**.
+
+## The Funeral
+
+Obviously, the family and I made the trip to Sri Lanka, where my grandfather had lives for bulk of his retired life.
+
+Despite the sombreness of death, a positive was seeing my extended family.
+
+Most of whom reside in the United States, and this funeral was the first time we were all together in 25 years (the last time was for my aunt’s wedding — I was 5 years old!)
+
+Since I don't have any siblings, my cousins are the closest I get to having brothers and sisters.
+
+We landed on Monday. Tuesday was wake. Wednesday was the funeral and cremation.
+
+During both the wake and funeral, it was incredible to see the variety of people who came to pay their respects. And impressive to see how rich our culture is with all the customs and ritual involved.
+
+## A Small Tribute
+
+![Website for my grandfather](./tribute.png)
+
+A small webpage ([app](https://appahappah.shivan.xyz) / [code](https://github.com/shivan-s/appahappah)) for my grandfather.
+
+Thank you for reading.
diff --git a/content/posts/appahappah/remembering.webp b/content/posts/appahappah/remembering.webp
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Confidence
+date: 2022-02-27
+summary: Confidence
+tags: ["life", "confidence"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  hidden: true
+---
+
+Nobody is born confident.
+
+No one is born with the God-given gift of flipping the camera lens towards them, hitting record, and speaking clearly, coherently and confidently.
+
+The opposite of confidence is fear of failure. No one is born fearless.
+
+Fear is a useful survival mechanism to stay alive. At an edge of a cliff? Stay away from that, says the brain. What about taking the first step to controlling your life? What will others think? What if I fail? What’s an excuse I can come up with today?
+
+Isn’t your brain funny?
+
+Fear keeps you prisoner, and the jail is called comfort.
+
+Freedom is when you break free from the prison of your comfort zone.
+
+Yes, you can redirect that fear. Fear and excitement are the same physiological response. The difference is our frame of mind. Instead of suppressing the fear to begin with, don't calm the fire, fuel it.
+
+Fear regret. Fear mediocrity. Fear using gratitude to cope with your current situation instead of using that gratitude to skyrocket your ambitions.
+
+What can you do to combat fear? Self-belief? Yes, that’s true. But the antidote to fear is action.
+
+When you take that leap (not off that cliff) and continue to take action, you finally pick your struggle.
+
+You are now fighting a battle you want to win.
+
+You’re alive. Free.
+
+Nobody was born with the ability to comfortably bare their soul on camera for the entire world of strangers to watch and scrutinise. Nobody was born with the ability to feel okay with no growth or success. Getting up again after setbacks is what you have to experience.
+
+What's your fear? No. What's your action?
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: My Contiki Story
+date: 2022-04-10
+summary: My story of embarrasement
+tags: ["life"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  image: cover.jpg
+  alt: "Snow falling in the foregroud"
+  caption: Hakuba, Japan
+  relative: false
+  hidden: false
+---
+
+"Do you have condoms?" She whispered.
+
+This wasn't me getting lucky. Instead, it was my incumbent roommate.
+
+In someways, I'm still getting over it and I'm embarrassed to share what I'm about to share, but you only live once and I think this will do more good than harm. Here we go.
+
+I was the unlucky one. I had no where to go. I was in the same room trying to fall asleep.
+
+This was 2017 Contiki Japan for me!
+
+My roommate was having fun, the other person was having fun too. I wish it would stop.
+
+I would think about what my friends would do in this situation. Of course, that didn't help because they would be the ones in my roommate's situation. Or if they weren’t, maybe, they would have the audacity to join in? Maybe, they would tell them to go to another room? I just froze.
+
+Froze like an innocent child witnessing a murder. What the hell? It's just sex after all.
+
+The topic of sex always made me feel uneasy even though I dreamed about it. My male friends would boast about their conquests. Whenever the spotlight came on me, they thought I was cursed with some disease of the mind. Even my first girlfriend thought it was problematic.
+
+It’s hard. Everyone around me had at least some experience or was in a powerful relationship.
+
+Instead of learning from people around me, I looked at my own situation in shame.
+
+It's like a party everyone was invited to, even people who are younger than you, not as intelligent as you and not as kind as you. All of them are on the inside, but you are on the out. You’re rejected. You ask yourself, is there something wrong with me?
+
+Nothing is wrong with you.
+
+You might feel like everyone is winning the game and you weren’t even given the rule booklet.
+
+But you never lied to anyone.
+
+Sure people laughed, which made me feel small and uncomfortable.
+
+But they can never do, what you can do.
+
+There is vulnerability in honesty. And vulnerability is the ultimate show of confidence.
+
+Lie and impress others. Tell the truth and impress yourself. I hope this is what you take away.
+
+{{< figure src="/japan.jpg" alt="Corridor of people" caption="Japan was still amazing" >}} {{< figure src="/dog.jpg" alt="dog with sand on nose" caption="This dog makes me smile" >}}
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: What can you control?
+date: 2022-04-17
+summary: Advice from a Meeting
+tags: ["life"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  hidden: true
+---
+
+I was having a meeting for poor performance.
+
+I checked out of the job. My situation at the time was dire. My ties to my family were non-existent. My relationship with my girlfriend at the time had ended.
+
+I complained about how I felt my job was meaningless.
+
+I would be frustrated when introducing myself as an optometrist.
+
+"why are glasses expensive?"
+
+"how much money do you make?"
+
+A friend of mine asked me how to purchase glasses online; they would kindly donate their hard earn cash to non-taxpaying drug dealers.
+
+Vision is one of the most important senses. It's the biggest fear to lose. Yet eye care and eyewear are commodities not worth valuing!
+
+There are many, many, many more examples of feeling worthless.
+
+**But the best advice I was given, is: control what you can control and deny focus on what others say.**
+
+That was the advice given to me by my boss during that meeting.
+
+Are the opinions and thoughts of others essential to dwell on? No.
+
+There are other things that aren't essential. Keeping up with every detail of the news. Does it really matter who X is dating while cheating on Y and Z at the same time? Scandalous? No.
+
+It's good to know the struggles of what everyone is going through. But I can always get that through a second party (family and friends).
+
+Ask yourself what is essential?
+
+Anxiety is worrying about the uncontrollable future. Regret is focusing on past mistakes. They either will never happen or not changeable. The present is in your control. The present is _essential_. Take it a step further. Learn and be grateful for your past. Then, take action in the present for what your future self will be thankful for.
+
+What can you focus on now to build your better future?
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: My First Flight Solo
+date: 2024-02-25
+summary: A milestone in my learn-to-fly journey
+categories: ["life"]
+tags: ["flying"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  image: posing.jpg
+  alt: Person posing in front of a plane
+  caption: Posing in front of Feilding Aviation
+  relative: false
+  hidden: false
+---
+
+Actual date of solo: 11th February 2024.
+
+A significant accomplishment that I have been working towards is a solo flight.
+
+In May last year (2023), I committed to get back into learning how to fly — this time instead of flying microlights like I did back in 2016, I am going for my private pilot’s license.
+
+A milestone to achieve is a solo flight. Building up to this, I have been flying circuits (and I’ve been doing this for almost a year, flying at least once or twice a week except for some breaks due to holidays and weather). A circuit usually involves taking off, performing a downwind run, landing and repeating this process. For me, the part I struggle with is approach and landing.
+
+However on a calm Sunday morning, 11th of February, my instructor deemed me fit enough to [navigate a circuit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airfield_traffic_pattern) all alone in the Cessna 152.
+
+Thankfully, I survived. I did make some mistakes. I took off without flaps, I flew downwind too high and too fast, and the landing was quite rough.
+
+Even with my instructor’s confidence that I wasn’t going to die doing this, he told me that the solo was a cool milestone, but the craft of flying always requires improvement and refinement.
+
+This is a good reminder to myself. Even if I achieved my goal, it doesn’t mean I am perfect at flying the circuit. As you can tell from my first solo mishaps, **we still need to be self-critical and continually improve despite our achievements. The learning never stops.**
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Become a good defender
+date: 2024-11-05
+summary: Story of an unsung hero
+tags: ["programming", "defender", "security"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  hidden: true
+---
+
+Recently, I discovered a security vulnerability. What is was isn't important but what is important is that it existed, undiscovered, for almost 2 years 🤯!
+
+Over the next few days, I was able to reduce the surface area of exposure, eventually sealing this issue nice and tight.
+
+The whole process of this security fix made me think about being a good [defender](<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defender_(association_football)>).
+
+Huh? Let me explain.
+
+I played [football](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_football) throughout primary, intermediate, and high school, even creeping into university.
+
+I wasn't great at dribbling, passing, or scoring goals, so I naturally defaulted to the position of a defender, where I spent most of my "years".
+
+In team trials, when everyone would be asked to separate out into their positions, being a defender wasn't so popular.
+
+Why is that?
+
+It's simple. Forwards score the goals and get the glory.
+
+Their success is tangible. It's visible on the score sheet.
+
+Contrast this to a well thought out and constructed tackle. Only if you peered into an alternate reality when this tackle wasn't made and a goal was scored do you see the effectiveness of the defender's work.
+
+What about mistakes? When a forward makes a mistake, it's usually a missed shot on goal. _Better luck next time_.
+
+For a defender, it's a worse penalty, conceding a goal and losing the game. _You suck_.
+
+It's often said: forwards bring in the tickets, while defenders win the games.
+
+That's the analogy.
+
+Thankfully, this vulnerability wasn't exploited. And it wasn't discovered by anyone outside the development team. Nor will I be shouting this from the rooftops. A boring ol' tackle in the harmless part of the pitch.
+
+While this fix was taking place, the others were building cool features that are visible and tangible for the fans to adore. They were scoring goals.
+
+It can be painful that my efforts will go in the dark. But what I can learn from this?
+
+I learnt to be a team player and asset. I love validation. It exciting showing cool new features to stakeholders, and that they pat you on the back for doing a good job.
+
+In this situation, I and only a few people will know that I go the unsung hero.
+
+I need to be proud of myself - I discovered and stopped a security vulnerability. I learnt more about a particular service that I did not originally set up. I now know how to secure it.
+
+My mentor said to me: there is always someone taking the spotlight, and if you aren't seeing someone else get the spotlight, then it's probably you.
+
+In this case, I'm not in the spotlight despite my high impact effort. And that's okay, because you aren't the only one who has gone through this.
+
+My time will come. But for now, I am just going to be grateful that things weren't worse. Become a good defender.
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Local Heroes
+date: 2023-07-16
+summary: Who we should look up to
+tags: ["life", "heroes", "influence"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  image: cover.jpg
+  alt: Sunrise in a room with a dog in the foreground
+  caption: Bruno enjoying sunrise
+  relative: false
+  hidden: false
+---
+
+Do we idolise the wrong people?
+
+It takes a lot to get to the top, whether it be sports, entertainment, or leadership. And if you are at the top, you get most of the attention — essentially a winner-takes-all scenario.
+
+And if you are one of these individuals who get most of the attention, you are likely going to be the most admired and looked up to.
+
+People will study you and try to emulate your work ethic in hopes of reaching similar success.
+
+Social media and our access to information have only exasperated this. We begin to idolise these individuals (I am guilty of it).
+
+But instead, can't we just look at your peers or at the people around you, locally? They may not be achieving great things (or may be they are) when measured through the lens of the internet.
+
+But they are just as admirable as any famous individual.
+
+It comes down to what we measure as success. For example, if we had a pool of athletes and ranked them on their abilities. Then, the difference between the 1st and the 100th isn’t going to be much in terms of skill, but in terms of attention and measure of success, it's disproportionally greater.
+
+If we take this same logic and scale it to the world, there will be people in your local community, and because they aren’t a CEO of a famous company or part of a popular sport aren’t perceived as “successful”, but are just as or if not more hard-working than those in the aforementioned positions; they just don’t get the credit they deserve or a platform to get noticed.
+
+The same could apply to artists. Can we just enjoy local talent? And imagine if you knew these people as people and they knew you too, instead of this insane one-to-many relationship most famous people have.
+
+You are surrounded by local heroes. Go and appreciate them.
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   caption: Photo by Mo Kalifa at capital bachata connection 2024
   relative: true
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+audio:
+  src: audio.mp3
+  hidden: false
 ---
 
-[Listen to audio version](./audio-my-first-dance-festival.mp3)
-
 A few weeks ago, I participated in capital bachata connection 2024, which is a 2-day-over-a-weekend festival for Bachata held at [Te Whaea](https://www.tewhaea.org.nz/) in Wellington. This was also my first ever Bachata festival, after starting Latin dance just over a year ago.
 
 On Saturday and Sunday, the festival consisted of streamed lessons in the morning, followed by open classes in the afternoon. Saturday night concluded with an evening social, and Sunday finished with a [practica](<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Practica_(event)>).
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: A New Look
+date: 2024-10-25
+summary: Creating my own private yet public museum
+tags: ["programming", "life", "blog", "content"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  image: cover.png
+  alt: Two screenshots of a webpages
+  caption: Change
+  relative: false
+  hidden: true
+---
+
+After many years using [Aditya Telange's](https://adityatelange.in/) wildly successful [PaperMod theme](https://github.com/adityatelange/hugo-PaperMod) for the [Hugo static site generator](https://gohugo.io), it's time to spread my wings and make my own theme.
+
+Hence, by writing [this](.) post, I am launching a new look for my ([this](/)) blog.
+
+This theme definitely isn't perfect, and it's very likely that various tweaks will be required.
+
+But it's probably acceptable in presentation to be pushed out to the world. After all, perfect is the enemy of good.
+
+**And I want to be okay putting things out there that are good enough**.
+
+## Why?
+
+The old look:
+![Old look of blog](./old.png)
+
+Some might think the old look is better. And they're probably right. It's a great theme.
+
+However, lately, I've been thinking about technology independence, technological malaise and sharing ideas (I'll expand on this in a promised future post).
+
+I normally put musings on big platforms like [Twitter](https://twitter.com/shivan__s) and [Instagram](https://instagram.com/shivan_s), and longer musings on [YouTube](https://youtube.com/@ShivanS).
+
+Then, I peer at the analytics and weep over the lack of engagement, which discourages me to share.
+
+Most of what I say just gets lost in a vacuum.
+
+Then, I thought about this blog. Why not write on here? Express myself. Throw away the analytics and write. Write even though nobody is reading. Write because that's what the soul wants... no needs.
+
+This made me want to redo the theme to something more unique, represents me, something I'm proud of - which all culminates in an excitement to write and post on here again.
+
+I simplified the layout: a small excerpt lives above my most recent posts in a list format grouped by year.
+
+Blog cover images (equivalent to youtube thumbnails) have been removed. This pushes the focus onto the writing and doesn't block me from posting because I can't find an image.
+
+The headings are in the brilliant [Optician Sans](https://optician-sans.com/) font created by [ANTI](https://anti.as/hamar) and [Fábio Duarte Martins](https://fonts.scannerlicker.net/) for those Optometry vibes. The rest of the fonts are from [GitHub's monaspace](https://monaspace.githubnext.com/), specifically Xenon for prose and Radon for code snippets.
+
+Here is the look so far:
+![New look of blog](./new.png)
+
+Hopefully, this will encourage me to write. This blog will act my private yet public musuem. It won't get many readers, but for anyone who discovers it, hopefully to them, it's a gold mine. So, I've withheld on analytics and tracking.
+
+[Feel free to let me know what you think](mailto:me@shivan.xyz). Anyway, thanks for reading.
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Being okay with who you are
+date: 2023-06-04
+summary: Should I?
+tags: ["life"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  hidden: true
+---
+
+_You should have stuck with optometry_.
+
+This was the response a person gave to me while they were probing me about my dating life and my career switch.
+
+The person was clearly joking, but my tendency to overthink things led me to the conclusion that I’m still not good enough. Embarking on a new career instead of sticking to what I have already done for years wouldn’t make me a good dating prospect. And being a good dating prospect is important (to me at least!)
+
+I do think when we achieve one goal, the mind quickly finds another problem to try and solve.
+
+But another problem too is that maybe the goal we have set for ourselves aren’t wholesome either.
+
+Maybe those goals persist to impress the expectations of others. I don’t blame you, because impressing yourself is one of the hardest things to do, especially, when we are our own worst critics.
+
+Since telling people about my new career path, I expected jaws drops (I’m so embarrassed by needing to feel this way by the way). But it’s just a job at the end of the day. And the only person who should really be impressed is myself.
+
+In fact, the ultimate goal of life should be that you are able to live your life in a way that you want and you are happy with.
+
+This can be difficult because sometimes I don’t know what’s best for me, and this is where I look to social media, books, friends, parents for feedback — and external validation.
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Optometrist then, Web Developer now
+date: 2023-02-26
+summary: Finally, change in career
+tags: ["life", "programming", "career"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  image: cover.jpg
+  alt: A sheet of paper with a timeline
+  caption: A Brief Timeline
+  hidden: false
+audio:
+  src: audio.mp3
+  hidden: false
+---
+
+Youngerself would view this with jealousy.
+
+My advice to my youngerself: patience and keep working hard. Good things will happen if you just keep going. _I promise you this_.
+
+**Before I continue, I want to thank all of those who supported me along this journey and were instrumental in getting me my first job in the technology world — you are very special to me.**
+
+The pill to swallow is a slow and painful one. After a few job changes, I realised optometry wasn't for me.
+
+I went into debt for this career; I dedicated a large portion of my life to this career.
+
+Is it possible for a person to change their stars? I wanted to hope.
+
+After trying a few things, I discovered programming and fell in love.
+
+## Programming
+
+The journey began learning Python through a textbook, _[Automate the Boring Stuff](https://automatetheboringstuff.com)_ by Al Sweigart, but what skyrocketed my motivation and skill was building personal projects.
+
+Combining your interests with programming provides a context to learn (i.e. I need to implement this feature: "How do I do that? Guess I need to look is up", rather than force-feeding yourself with facts that you will easily forget).
+
+I'll talk about my personal projects in a future post, but here is my [GitHub](https://github.com/shivan-s) if you would like to browse.
+
+**The key is, and I’ll repeat it again and again, personal projects over tutorials. That being said, don't avoid tutorials — they are useful to gain knowledge but don’t rely on them as a sole learning resource.**
+
+## Sharing Online
+
+We often think our work isn't good enough to put online or that others will completely trash our thoughts and ideas.
+
+To be successful, we must be willing to put ourselves out there and risk looking stupid in front of others.
+
+That is what I did.
+
+I would post about half-done projects and openly discuss my struggles in the career as an optometrist.
+
+No negativity came from it apart from what I thought about myself. Yes, I did think what I was doing was embarrassing but no one put me down because of it.
+
+Thanks to the content I was publishing on multiple platforms, someone saw it. It led to a referral, a series of interviews, and then a job.
+
+## What Now?
+
+I spent a large portion of my time and energy in the last three years trying to obtain this goal of a career change from optometry into the technology sector.
+
+Now, that I have achieved that goal, I feel that the same fire I had in my belly is slowly going out.
+
+But I don't want that passion to die. It's another fear of mine: to lose the love of what was once loved.
+
+Here, I’m left with a fork in the road. One road is becoming the best web developer/programmer I can be. That means giving talks, leading a team, teaching and inspiring others.
+
+The other road is leaving my mark on the world, creating a start-up that provides some positive impact in some way.
+
+And this current job acts as a vehicle for both roads to be taken.
+
+## Conclusion
+
+I finally got a role in the technology industry. It took three years of building personal projects and presenting them online for the world to see.
+
+I was lucky enough that this caught someone's eye, to then get an interview and then be given a job.
+
+With that goal achieved, I look for the next challenge on the horizon — creating my own mark on the world or becoming the best at the profession I can be.
+
+Use this story as an inspiration of your own, just stay focused.
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Padman
+date: 2022-06-05
+summary: A Hero
+tags: ["life"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  hidden: true
+---
+
+They call him _Pad man_.
+
+His real name is [Arunachalam Muruganantham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arunachalam_Muruganantham).
+
+An inspiration, why?
+
+Let me tell you his story. He was "little educated". He wasn't uneducated nor was he educated from a distinguished place.
+
+His lifestyle was humble. Not poverty-stricken. Not middle class. A working man.
+
+One day, he noticed that his wife was using a dirty rag when she was menstruating.
+
+Wondering why she didn't use sanitary pads; he later discovered that they would need to sacrifice the milk budget. Milk is more important than sanitary health.
+
+Instead of complaining or lobbying against the high prices. Like an entrepreneur, he sought to fix the problem.
+
+He researched how sanitary pads were made. Founds means of producing his own at a much lower cost.
+
+He was even able to get laypeople to operate the machines.
+
+He even went as far as the test the product by carrying a bladder full of animal blood.
+
+His wife and people around him thought he was crazy. They weren't willing to try his product.
+
+He had to approach the local female medical students to try his product. His wife left him because he thought he was "going behind" the female medical students (i.e. having an affair).
+
+Muruganantham's pursuit proved successful.
+
+Large companies offered large sums of money for these patents and ideas.
+
+But he refused.
+
+He refused to "cash-out" because that went against his values.
+
+If a large company bought him out, then they would simply increase the costs of sanitary pads, and the problem that he intended to solve would become a problem again.
+
+He is a hero in my book because he saw a problem and found a solution. And the problem wasn't anything revolutionary or new.
+
+He didn't have a yearning to fly to Mars or be the most customer-centric company in the universe. He simply found a problem - expensive sanitary pads and made a more affordable alternative.
+
+He stayed true to this value, refusing riches. Instant success with money wasn't the motivating factor. It was to provide a positive contribution to society.
+
+{{<youtube zkQL7UJYDIY>}}
+
+Another point is that he gives a TED talk, where he mentions at the end, that he didn't need a fancy education to do what he did. He ends his talk by mentioning that there are three types of people. Those who have no education, those who are "little educated" and those who are highly educated. He ends by calling himself "little educated" and then proclaims what he was able to achieve, then points his fingers at those who are highly educated and asked what they can do.
+
+What a proud statement!
+
+It made me think about what I am doing in my life. Yes, I have this fancy optometry degree. It got me a well paying and comfortable job.
+
+But my impact on society is on a one to one scale. That's what got me into communicating online and programming.
+
+I don't to just make money. What do I believe in? What gets me excited? What works within my ethical boundary?
+
+Can we do everything in the actions we pick?
+
+That's why I'm here. And that's why I am writing to you.
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: I Resigned...
+date: 2024-03-10
+summary: Not from my job, but it's a good idea to prune what you do if what you do isn't fun anymore
+categories: ["life"]
+tags: ["life", "resigned"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  image: weightlifting.jpg
+  alt: Man carring weight overhead
+  caption: Former VP of weightlifting club
+  relative: false
+  hidden: false
+---
+
+My biggest news of recent weeks is my resignation from my position as Vice President of my weightlifting club of which I am a member (not my job if that’s what you clicked on — sorry!). In some previous newsletters, I briefly mentioned my trepidation towards my appointment in this role.
+
+> Vice Presidency - We had the AGM for our weightlifting club and I have been elected as vice president. I am nervous since I have a lot on my plate currently, and I don't want to let the team down. But, we will see how things do and this will be a good experience, nonetheless.
+
+I can’t say the experience in itself was good but it was useful.
+
+Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m stretching myself too thin. For most of my life, I’ve remained in roles for far longer than I should have. The problem is that I didn’t want to go through the awkward process of potentially upsetting others, even if it meant putting myself last, avoiding conflict, burying the resentment, and prolonging my misery.
+
+The root of this all is the fact that I’m not okay with myself. When you’re not okay with me, I look to the validation of others to fill in the void. One way is the please others.
+
+So, instead of trying to remain in everyone’s good books — or at least, thinking I was — by putting aside how I felt, what did I want to do?
+
+I knew I didn’t have the passion for this vice presidency role. I detest endless communication, processes, and feeling unheard.
+
+I must say that service like this often goes thanklessly. It’s tough. But also gives us meaning, purpose and a sense of community.
+
+I’m grateful to have had experienced some of it. And I respect those who continue to be in these roles.
+
+However, when the overall trend is worsening mood and lack of enjoyment, give yourself permission to step away.
+
+I’m hoping I made the right decision in resigning from this role. It might be a turning point where I start to live life for me. And you, as a reader, I hoping what you can take away from this is that it’s okay to give up on things that you don’t find joy in — or don’t align with your vision as a person. Sure, it’s going to be awkward at first, but are you okay with putting up with short term pain for long term happiness?
+
+What do you think about my decision to resign? What would you do differently? Are you going through a similar experience?
+
+PS: I purchased a bass guitar and plan to learn bass for the first time ever. And I’m also learning some flutter as well.
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Thinking You Can Save the World
+date: 2022-11-27
+summary: A single person is a universe
+tags: ["life", "messiah complex"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  hidden: true
+---
+
+From time to time, I have these grand delusional ambitions to help the world.
+
+To think beyond me and help others.
+
+I even confessed this is a bunch of friends. Silly me!
+
+I said to them: more money doesn't matter to me, and that I am oh so privileged, so I need to help others.
+
+Life went on.
+
+Then, [Sam Bankman-Fried](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Bankman-Fried) (SBF) made the news.
+
+Bankman-Fried was part of the "Effective Altruistic" movement. A philanthropist and humanist first, billionaire second or so we would believe.
+
+He ended up fooling a lot of people. Some compare it to Bernie Madoff.
+
+SBF too had this grand vision of helping others at scale.
+
+I later learnt this concept is called the [Messiah complex](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messiah_complex) (it's not addressed [in the DSM](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders) but is compared to the delusion of grandeur).
+
+Perhaps, this 'save the world' mentality was just a facade for what was really going on, but it made me think about this delusion of making the world a better place.
+
+After all, with solutions comes even more problems. I even postulate that there are an infinite number of problems to solve in the world. So thinking about all of them, let alone trying to solve all of them, is an impossible task.
+
+Plus, why do I want to solve the world's problems (or the biggest problem)? To increase my self-worth? To have a statue made in my honour? Come on.
+
+I always thought that fulfillment comes from being able to have a positive effect on your surroundings.
+
+A friend at the gym gave me some great advice.
+
+He said to me: the world is a big place.
+
+But think of one person's life.
+
+**A single person's life is a whole universe. Like the world.**
+
+**If you can help a single person, isn't that enough?**
+
+If you can help just the people you love and care about around you, isn't that enough?
+
+[What do you think?](mailto:me@shivan.xyz)
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diff --git a/content/posts/thank-you/index.md b/content/posts/thank-you/index.md
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+++ b/content/posts/thank-you/index.md
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+---
+author: Shivan Sivakumaran
+title: Thank You
+date: 2022-04-03
+summary: Yes, thank you
+tags: ["life", "vulnerability"]
+draft: false
+cover:
+  hidden: true
+---
+
+When I was young, I really want to be good at something.
+
+I would enviously applaud those we celebrated walking across stage to collect their awards.
+
+What would it be like? I wondered.
+
+To feel special. To feel talented. To feel worth celebrating.
+
+I wanted to feel like that too.
+
+Why did I really feel that way? Am I evil? Would it be because people would love me more if I was successful? Would my parents finally be proud? Would I finally be at peace with myself?
+
+So I put myself to work. I thought academics was my strong suit.
+
+I finished high school not first. But second.
+
+Let’s not talk about my university days — I wasn’t any contest.
+
+Fast-forwarding to my working days, my then-partner worked at an ophthalmology clinic. She would always return home in zeal.
+
+Their work is like art, she would say.
+
+What could I do? I thought.
+
+I didn't feel good at anything. I didn't feel special. I didn't feel worthy of love and admiration. This was such a painful feeling.
+
+So, I began to write. And I'm glad I did. I love writing. My thoughts, feelings and pain to share out to the world. Get it out there. Share. Maybe, I can find someone who will care.
+
+I like to write about my emotions. I like to talk about the inner workings of my mind. Not many people do (maybe for a good reason?).
+
+I'm not the best writer. That's what my English teacher told me. But what's a English teacher really good at? But I'm not writing an English essay with well structured paragraphs; this is self expression.
+
+By the way, because I'm South Asian doesn't mean I'm terrible at English and only good at science and math.
+
+Before all of this, I thought to be good at something, you have to be born with it.
+
+There is some element of truth, but I later discovered that it's not about
+
+I wise man told me, if you enjoy what you do, you will excel at it.
+
+I enjoyed this. I finally felt like someone. I felt special.
+
+Before I started writing, I was usually an open person. But that's a problem? Men are supposed to be closed books.
+
+When did the journey of self expression truly begin?
+
+There was this girl in my first year of university, A. You could say 'A' stood for angel. She was - _platonically_. Thank you, A. You made first year of university so bearable. Thank you for making me heard and feel special in a hostile place.
+
+She would be the ear to my thoughts. She was a person I could talk to. A friend I finally felt comfortable with.
+
+Years later, I learnt men don't talk to women about their problems, only to other men. Sorry for breaking that rule.
+
+She eventually moved on with her life.
+
+Thank you.
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diff --git a/content/projects/_index.md b/content/projects/_index.md
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index e69de29..0000000
diff --git a/content/projects/optom-bot/index.md b/content/projects/optom-bot/index.md
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+++ /dev/null
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----
-title: OptomBot
-summary: A twitter bot
-aliases: ["project", "portfolio"]
-date: 2022-11-07
-author: Shivan Sivakumaran
-draft: true
-cover:
-  image: image.jpg
-  alt: Personal Blog
-  caption: caption
-  relative: false
-  hidden: false
----
-
-The goal of this project is to redistribute optometry related content on twitter.
-
-### Technologies
-
-- Python
-- Twitter API
-
-### Resources
-
-- Live link: [twitter.com/optombot](https://twitter.com/optombot)
-- [Source code](https://github.com/ShivanS93/twitter-optom-bot)
diff --git a/content/projects/optom-tools/index.md b/content/projects/optom-tools/index.md
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+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,29 +0,0 @@
----
-author: Shivan Sivakumaran
-title: Optometry Tools
-date: 2024-04-16
-summary: Tools for optometrists
-categories: ["project"]
-tags: [""]
-draft: false
-cover:
-  image: screenshot.png
-  alt: Screenshot of optom.tools
-  caption: Optometry Tools
-  relative: false
-  hidden: false
----
-
-This project stems from my wish to be able to perform optometry relevant calculations.
-
-### Technologies
-
-- [SvelteKit](https://kit.svelte.dev)
-- [Cloudflare Pages](https://pages.cloudflare.com/)
-
-### Resources
-
-{{< youtube sbQHjGaaBNg >}}
-
-- Live link: [optom.tools](https://optom.tools)
-- [Source code](https://github.com/shivan-s/optom.tools)
diff --git a/content/projects/optom-tools/screenshot.png b/content/projects/optom-tools/screenshot.png
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diff --git a/content/projects/personal-blog/index.md b/content/projects/personal-blog/index.md
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--- a/content/projects/personal-blog/index.md
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,32 +0,0 @@
----
-author: Shivan Sivakumaran
-title: Personal Blog
-date: 2022-11-07
-summary: This website!
-categories: ["project"]
-tags: [""]
-draft: false
-cover:
-  image: screenshot.png
-  alt: Screenshot of my personal blog
-  caption: caption
-  relative: false
-  hidden: false
----
-
-My personal blog/website served using a static site generation.
-
-The theme for this blog is <https://github.com/adityatelange/hugo-PaperMod>.
-
-This is hosted using [Cloudflare Pages](https://pages.cloudflare.com/)
-
-### Technologies
-
-- [Hugo Static Site Generator](https://gohugo.io/)
-
-### Resources
-
-{{<youtube Crv-3aR-y34>}}
-
-- Live link: [shivan.xyz](https://shivan.xyz)
-- [Source code](https://github.com/ShivanS93/shivan.xyz)
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+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,80 +0,0 @@
----
-title: Projects
-aliases: ["project", "portfolio"]
-author: Shivan Sivakumaran
-enableComments: false
-draft: true
----
-
-## Lifter API
-
-Making New Zealand Weightlifting results more accessible.
-
-### Technologies
-
-- Python
-- Django REST Framework
-- React
-- Typescript
-- Material UI
-
-### Resources
-
-{{<youtube 1kObqjeRs2I>}}
-
-- Live link: No longer active
-- [Source code](https://github.com/weightliftingNZ/lifter-api)
-
----
-
-## Optom Tools
-
-Making optometry data easily usable.
-
-### Technologies
-
-- Python
-- Pydantic
-
-### Resources
-
-{{<youtube FPrYu0WEBPs>}}
-
-- [Source code](https://github.com/shivan-s/optom-tools)
-- [PyPi](https://pypi.org/project/optom-tools/)
-- [Documentation](https://shivan-s.github.io/optom-tools/)
-
----
-
-## OptomCalc
-
-Making optometry calculations easier
-
-### Technologies
-
-- React
-- Typescript
-- Tailwind CSS
-
-### Resources
-
-- Link link: [shivan-s.github.io/optomcalc](https://shivan-s.github.io/optomcalc/)
-- [Source code](https://github.com/shivan-s/optomcalc)
-
----
-
-## TubeStats
-
-Dashboard to analyse statistics of a given YouTube channel.
-
-### Technologies
-
-- Python
-- Streamlit
-
-### Resources
-
-- Live link: [tubestats.shivan.xyz](https://tubestats.shivan.xyz)
-- [Source Code](https://github.com/shivan-s/tubestats)
-
----
diff --git a/content/search.md b/content/search.md
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--- a/content/search.md
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
----
-title: "Search"
-layout: "search"
-url: "/archive"
-description: "Search through posts"
-summary: "Search"
-placeholder: "Search content"
-draft: false
----
diff --git a/layouts/_default/list.html b/layouts/_default/list.html
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--- a/layouts/_default/list.html
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,89 +0,0 @@
-{{- define "main" }} {{- if (and site.Params.profileMode.enabled .IsHome) }} {{-
-partial "index_profile.html" . }} {{- else }} {{/* if not profileMode */}} {{-
-if not .IsHome | and .Title }}
-<header class="page-header">
-  {{- partial "breadcrumbs.html" . }}
-  <h1>
-    {{ .Title }} {{- if and (or (eq .Kind `term`) (eq .Kind `section`)) (.Param
-    "ShowRssButtonInSectionTermList") }}
-    <a href="index.xml" title="RSS" aria-label="RSS">
-      <svg
-        xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"
-        viewBox="0 0 24 24"
-        fill="none"
-        stroke="currentColor"
-        stroke-width="2"
-        stroke-linecap="round"
-        stroke-linejoin="round"
-        height="23"
-      >
-        <path d="M4 11a9 9 0 0 1 9 9" />
-        <path d="M4 4a16 16 0 0 1 16 16" />
-        <circle cx="5" cy="19" r="1" />
-      </svg>
-    </a>
-    {{- end }}
-  </h1>
-  {{- if .Description }}
-  <div class="post-description">{{ .Description | markdownify }}</div>
-  {{- end }}
-</header>
-{{- end }} {{- if .Content }}
-<div class="post-content">
-  {{- if not (.Param "disableAnchoredHeadings") }} {{- partial
-  "anchored_headings.html" .Content -}} {{- else }}{{ .Content }}{{ end }}
-</div>
-{{- end }} {{- $pages := union .RegularPages .Sections }} {{- if .IsHome }} {{-
-$pages = where site.RegularPages "Type" "in" site.Params.mainSections }} {{-
-$pages = where $pages "Params.hiddenInHomeList" "!=" "true" }} {{- end }} {{-
-$paginator := .Paginate $pages }} {{- if and .IsHome site.Params.homeInfoParams
-(eq $paginator.PageNumber 1) }} {{- partial "home_info.html" . }} {{- end }} {{-
-$term := .Data.Term }} {{- range $index, $page := $paginator.Pages }} {{- $class
-:= "post-entry" }} {{- $user_preferred := or site.Params.disableSpecial1stPost
-site.Params.homeInfoParams }} {{- if (and $.IsHome (eq $paginator.PageNumber 1)
-(eq $index 0) (not $user_preferred)) }} {{- $class = "first-entry" }} {{- else
-if $term }} {{- $class = "post-entry tag-entry" }} {{- end }}
-
-<article class="{{ $class }}">
-  {{- $isHidden := (site.Params.cover.hidden | default
-  site.Params.cover.hiddenInList) }} {{- partial "cover.html" (dict "cxt" .
-  "IsHome" true "isHidden" $isHidden) }}
-  <header class="entry-header">
-    <h2>
-      {{- .Title }} {{- if .Draft }}<sup
-        ><span class="entry-isdraft">&nbsp;&nbsp;[draft]</span></sup
-      >{{- end }}
-    </h2>
-  </header>
-  {{- if (ne (.Param "hideSummary") true) }}
-  <div class="entry-content">
-    <p>
-      {{ .Summary | plainify | htmlUnescape }}{{ if .Truncated }}...{{ end }}
-    </p>
-  </div>
-  {{- end }} {{- if not (.Param "hideMeta") }}
-  <footer class="entry-footer">{{- partial "post_meta.html" . -}}</footer>
-  {{- end }}
-  <a
-    class="entry-link"
-    aria-label="post link to {{ .Title | plainify }}"
-    href="{{ .Permalink }}"
-  ></a>
-</article>
-{{- end }} {{- if gt $paginator.TotalPages 1 }}
-<footer class="page-footer">
-  <nav class="pagination">
-    {{- if $paginator.HasPrev }}
-    <a class="prev" href="{{ $paginator.Prev.URL | absURL }}">
-      «&nbsp;{{ i18n "prev_page" }}&nbsp; {{- if (.Param "ShowPageNums") }} {{-
-      sub $paginator.PageNumber 1 }}/{{ $paginator.TotalPages }} {{- end }}
-    </a>
-    {{- end }} {{- if $paginator.HasNext }}
-    <a class="next" href="{{ $paginator.Next.URL | absURL }}">
-      {{- i18n "next_page" }}&nbsp; {{- if (.Param "ShowPageNums") }} {{- add 1
-      $paginator.PageNumber }}/{{ $paginator.TotalPages }} {{- end }}&nbsp;»
-    </a>
-    {{- end }}
-  </nav>
-</footer>
-{{- end }} {{- end }} {{/* end profileMode */}} {{- end }}{{- /* end main */ -}}
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+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,14 +0,0 @@
-<script src="https://giscus.app/client.js"
-        data-repo="shivan-s/shivan.xyz"
-        data-repo-id="R_kgDOHG2-4Q"
-        data-category="[ENTER CATEGORY NAME HERE]"
-        data-category-id="[ENTER CATEGORY ID HERE]"
-        data-mapping="pathname"
-        data-reactions-enabled="1"
-        data-emit-metadata="0"
-        data-input-position="bottom"
-        data-theme="light"
-        data-lang="en"
-        crossorigin="anonymous"
-        async>
-</script>
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