Year3.txt

From the journal of Overseer Nero, Year 253

7th Granite

	Arrived at my assigned outpost after walking entirely too goddamn far. This whole region seems to be covered in snow; useless stuff, don’t see what all the fuss is about. Damn near fell into the fortress, Meskosoth, before I ever saw it- apparently someone over the last couple of years decided it would be fun to carve a bunch of slit trenches all over the surface.


One of them looks like it might have been intended to be a pasture, but the other one just has a few bags of goddamn sand with no way to get to them. Either way it’s a bad idea; if spending my entire life inside a dank cave eating mold is good enough for me, it’s damn well good enough for my cows.

Entrance to the fort turned out to be a bloody hole in the ground, alongside the river- bloody flooding disaster waiting to happen, if you ask me. One of the dwarves, Geshud Rodericksher or some such, showed up to guide me the rest of the way in- I was somewhat curious as to why he had so much time on his hands, until I asked him his profession; he told me he was a fisherdwarf. I spent a long moment staring back and forth between him and the iced-over river, but the simpleton just kept grinning like a loon until I took pity on him and let him lead me inside.

The entrance didn’t look any better from below, either- long-ass twisty corridor, then a narrow passageway ducking out the back of the trade depot. Oh well, hopefully it’ll give the elves some blisters.

Being by this point thoroughly in need of a healthy drink, I had Geshud lead me to the Dining Hall...

(Insert Second Screenshot)

...and promptly decided that I’d rather drink in my office. First order of business once I get settled in will be to have a proper Feast Hall dug out. Of stone. The kind that isn’t covered in moss. Call me old fashioned, but is a little grandeur too much to ask for?

Finally made it to my quarters- another drab room in a labyrinthian nightmare of stone passageways. I’ve decided that tomorrow’s second order of business will be to have the architect flogged.

8th Granite.

	Went over the census data and assignment rosters today. Feast Hall and Floggings will have to wait. In addition to the fisherdwarf- whom I swear I saw casting his line out over the river and then sitting there as if he expected the fish to carve their way through the ice up towards it- it looks like we’ve got a siege operator (but no siege), a pump operator (but no pump), three butchers (but no meat), and even two rangers. I wasted no time in explaining to the latter that if they wanted to spend their time prancing through the goddamn snow-covered trees with their little pet squirrels or whatever, then I’d be happy to send them on their way with the next elven caravan, but until then they’ll spend their time hauling rocks from one poorly lit tunnel to another like a proper dwarf.

	Ended up spending the entire day redrawing assignments- restricted useful people from wasting their time on hauling jobs, made sure only the most qualified dwarves were working limited positions (weaponsmiths, etc,) and reassigned the rest to the roll of Peasant -except one of them had the gall to complain about her new job title, which is how Meskosoth got its first Janitor. Reassigned the nicer-looking ones to be Builders, to make sure construction and trapmaking jobs get done- told them to pick up on carpentry, masonry, architecture and mechanic jobs, but to stay out of the actual shops, so we have professionals doing the real work.

9th Granite.

	Finished going over the job rosters, moved on to looking at our stocks.

	We have no booze.

	We.
	Have.
	No.
	Booze.



	I’d somehow failed to notice this disaster until today (having, naturally, brought my own private stash), but now even that’s run dry. Upon closer inspection, the situation is even more dire than I realized- not only do we have no booze, but we have no brewable plant matter either. I immediately ordered the creation of a significant farm plot north of the dining hall, but it will still be some time before we see any alcohol brewed.

	Loathe though I was to turn my attention away from that crisis, even for a moment - and I do intend to revisit the farm plots every day, to glare at the Plump Helmets until they sprout - there seems to be little else I can do, until the farms come to fruition. In the meantime, I’ve ordered construction started on what will be the main dining hall, with attached storage rooms for food and drink. Looking around, I also found a random, unlabeled lever in the entrance hall- the last story that started this way ended with a flooded siege workshop, so I’m giving this one a wide birth. I’ve ordered tunnels laid out to the south of the dining hall for a proper control room; hopefully having it next to a major dwarven gathering area will ensure that someone’s on hand to pull them, in case of emergency.

A cursory examination also reveals that we have no barracks or training areas yet designated; I’ve ordered our mason to begin work on weapon and armor racks, and the miners are digging out a barracks near the trade depot.

Speaking of the mason- the workshop organization here is a logistical nightmare. While I can see the benefits of the open-floor plan my predecessors seemed to favor, it’s simply too difficult to organize and control. I’ve ordered the miners to dig out separate spaces for a line of workshops beneath the dining hall. 

Granite 13th

	Minor stampede today, as we were (blessedly) able to harvest just enough plump helmets to resume brewing operations, however briefly. I fear I may have lost the goodwill of at least some of my colleagues, specifically the ones whose faces I elbowed in the mad rush to claim the already dwindling supply of liquor; onlookers also claim that I threatened any dwarf who got in my way with janitorial duty, but I feel their testimony is unreliable as they were embarrassingly sober at the time.

	Spent the remainder of my day reading over combat reports between a Stray Two-Humped Camel, and a Stray Two-Humped Camel Calf.

	I wonder who writes those reports.

Granite 17th

	Booze drought seems to have been averted; turning some of my attention back to the entrance corridor. The human merchant’s guild have been complaining about traps along their approach way, so we’re leaving the long, winding path clear for them; there’s a more direct path that’s been walled off, though, and I plan to reopen that once I’m confident it’s sufficiently secured. Chaining up a couple of dogs near the depot as well, just to be safe.

	More of those strange combat reports- all of them seem to be coming from the pasture. As far as I can tell, all of the animals there have spent the last week engaged in a constant inter-species orgy of violence. I’m kinda scared to go down there, now... maybe demoting most of our butchers to the peasantry wasn’t such a good idea after all.

	If only I could get our *soldiers* to spar with such dedication.


Slate 5th

	Primary barracks are finished, and soldiers are finally starting to train. Next time we get any migrants I’ll pick out some of the likelier ones to swell the ranks; if we could just get a reliable source of steel, we’d be on our way.

	Got a letter from a former overseer instructing me to pull the lever next to the magma forges; was somewhat uncertain about doing so (no one wants a repeat of the Kab Ator Flood), but all it did was pour a little water into the trench connecting the forges to the main magma sea. Okay.

	Still not certain about that shifty-looking lever in the entrance hall, though. Might have that one taken down.

	The one butcher I let keep his job came to me complaining about nothing to do, so I let him kill off a few of our spare sheep. Should free up some pasture land, and god knows we need the food.

Slate 25th

	River melted today- now that was a thing to see. Thankfully no one drowned, this time. I’ve restricted dwarves from walking over the ice except when absolutely necessary, and ordered the construction of a bridge.

Felsite 10th

	New wave of migrants, not a single one of them with a worthwhile skill. Threw most of them into the military, most of the rest into the peasantry- the leftovers got reassigned into Builders, Miners and Smelters. Ordered a set of catacombs to be dug out of one of the chalk layers; should give our dead a better burial grounds than the current “Coffin Stockpile” looking thing near the magma layer.

Felsite 21st

	Goblin thieves attempted to infiltrate the base, but were spotted by guard dogs. Sadly, one of them took a slash at a newborn on the way out; the child may yet recover, but it’s too soon to tell.

	In other news, there was a minor altercation with an elven merchant over the trade goods we offered them- or more specifically, over the wooden bin we offered them in. However, everything was resolved without major incident, and our textile industry should be set for years, assuming we can get the stains out.

Felsite 26th

	One of our peasants had a strange mood, locked himself in one of the workshops. He seems to be finding everything he needs, so I’ll leave him to it.

	Second barracks is set up, squad is assigned. Last round of migrants brought us up to a standing strength of 16 or so; not perfect, but if I can get them properly trained and armed, it should be more than enough. Arming them is more of a concern right now, to be honest; steel’s been hard to come by. Checked into it, and it looks like the bottleneck is in the fuel required; I’ve ordered an expansion of the catacombs and the control room; both of those go through chalk, which seems to be rich enough in bituminous coal. I may also expand logging operations, and see about making some charcoal as well.

Hematite 1st

	The aforementioned peasant finally finished what he was working on- a toy boat. Doesn’t seem particularly spectacular to me, but everyone else likes it.

	Still working on getting our weapon and armorsmithing up to par; had the carpenter make a set of wooden training axes for the soldiers to spare with until then. Considering building a second dining hall down near the magma- it’s that or pump magma up towards the surface, and I doubt the fortress is up to an engineering project of that magnitude yet. 

Hematite 21st

	One of the bloody peasants came sprinting into my office today, screaming his head off that “The Forgotten Beast Acon Duboust Has Come!”; took me the better part of an hour getting him to calm down enough to explain that The Forgotten Beast Acon Duboust Has Come to the Furthest Fucking Corner Of The Sealed Off Caverns,  and can damn well stay there until he’s forgotten about all over again for all I care.

Malachite 7th
	
	Aside from the occasional short-lived goblin thief, things have been pretty quiet so far, but I don’t expect it to last. The fort itself is well secured- there’s so many traps it’s a wonder I haven’t gotten caught by one- but our people on the surface are at risk. I’m ordering a moat dug around the borders of our territory- it’ll need to have gates to let the caravans through, but if nothing else it’ll provide us with an early-warning system.

Malachite 9th

	So, about that moat- turns out the entire fort is sitting on a god-damn aquifer. Couple of our miners drowned trying to dig through the northern hills, and apparently our southern border is a sinkhole waiting to happen. The north is gonna be an engineering nightmare, but we should be able to fix it up once the freeze hits- the south is gonna have to be walled off entirely. I’ve ordered our builders to start in on that, with any luck they’ll work fast.

Galena 4th

	We got another Forgotten Beast is- so Forgotten, in fact, that its name has already slipped my mind. Oh well. Maybe it’ll make friends with that other one- just hope they don’t have any kids, which is all anyone else around here seems to do anymore. The women around here are terrifying- at least four babies have been delivered on the central staircase alone.

Galena 25th

	Human merchants arrived today; I traded them everything they owned for a few bins of carved chalk. I’m starting to think the elves got the better deal, all in all.


Galena 28th

	Personal Entry
	
	Been here about, now, and I’ve started looking into what comes next- not very fucking much, it would appear. The only other overseer-level position available would be leading yet another reclamation effort for Koganusan, and that’s one year of elephant-induced nightmares I can live without.

	I’m starting to consider sticking it out here, after all- another few years, and I’ll have this place running smooth. Started work on my personal quarters, just in case; nothing too fancy.

7th Limestone

	The mayor’s been complaining at me a lot lately- apparently no one’s bothered to give him a room. I pointed out that no one’s bothered to give him a real job, either, but that didn’t seem to improve his mood. Today he banned the export of earings; not sure whether this was to get back at me, or if he just took pity on the poor human fools who keep trading the sum total of their worldly goods for the useless little trinkets.



19th Sandstone

	Work on the wall proceeding faster than expected; almost entire southern line is now complete. I’m beginning to consider abandoning the moat altogether, and instead extending the wall around the total of our territory, or at least all sections with an aquifer.


(Date Unreadable)

	Diary, it’s been a fuck of a day.

	I’m thinking of compiling a list of the worst thing an overseer can wake up to hearing. Here’s the list so far:

	1: We’re out of booze.

	2: There’s a dragon attacking.

	Guess which one I heard today?

	Scaly bastard emerged right on top of the southern wall- most of the builder’s didn’t stand a chance. I ordered some cage traps put up right at the entrance, as the fort isn’t sealable from the air yet- was hoping they’d get to it before the dragon got to us. He spent a while chasing some poor woodcutter and her baby around for a bit- never have I seen something with legs that short run that fast- then got bored and rushed the entrance.

	Fortunately, the traps did their job; unfortunately, the dragonsbreath did its job as well, so we lost a couple soldiers and the trade depot burned down, before the traps finally hacked the stupid lizard to death.

	Oh, did I mention it set every damn thing around on fire first?

	Next thing, some asshole from the dwarven caravan wanders up- through all the smoking dwarf and dragon bits that now line our entrance way- and tells me the caravan can’t make it cause there’s traps in the way.

	Right about then a troop of Mandrils showed up and stole one of our minecarts. Damned if I know what they plan to use it for.

	And, as if that weren’t fucking enough... Siege! Some asshole troop of goblins showed up with morningstars. Thankfully almost everyone was already inside- for a moment it looked like they were going to run into the wildfire that damned dragon started, which would have been just funny enough to make up for the half-dozen dwarves it roasted. (I know that’s in poor taste, but let’s face it- we’re all stunted half-psychopathic drunks anyway. Dying for a good punchline is about the best we can hope for.)

	So, remember that sorry fuck I assigned to janitorial duty a while ago? She’s busy cleaning dragon blood off the traps when the goblins charge in on top of her. I didn’t bother listening to all the gory details, but one of them mangles her gut up something nasty with his morningstar before she retreats back behind the traps- so now there’s goblin bits mixed in with the dragon blood, three quarters of the traps are jammed, and my god-damn janitor keeps puking on everything she tries to clean.

	So, I want you to picture the state the fortress is in right now- there’s massive clouds of smoke mixing with that thrice-damned nefarious mist, wildfires are burning over half the map, there’s a troop of burnt mandril corpses littering the ground, a couple builders are bleeding out alongside the wall, the entrace is clogged with dragon, goblin and militia commander bits, and on top of it all the damn janitor is puking on the only bits of bare floor left.

	I want you to picture that so as you’ll understand my surprise when, through the whole flaming, miasma-ridden mess, this jumped-up dwarven diplomat comes sidling on up, congratulates me on the job I’ve been doing, says we’re being made into a barony and asks if I have any recommendations on who to promote to the nobility.

	Yeah, I got a recommendation. I’ll give you a hint- who’s got two thumbs and is going off to find a drink big enough to kill that dragon all over again?


Some other date - 

	Wandered out of my quarters- there’s peacocks in them now, when’d that happen? - in search of another drink, as the last of mine are all gone. Fortress is in sorry shape. Seems to be spinning. Saw that goddamn butcher walking by, grinning so wide his head was like to fall off, hauling the fucking dragon corpse behind him over one shoulder. Much as I hate the sorry bastard, I had to tip my hat to him. Fuck with Meskosoth and we’ll fucking eat you, scales and all.

	Oh, it turns out that goddamn janitor survived, and might have another reason for the puking- she actually gave birth. Then she puked on the baby, and went back to cleaning up the dragon blood.


Some other date- I think- 

	Some bastard ran into my room screaming about an ambush. After I freaked out and hit him over the head with a peacock, I told him to let the army handle it, and closed the door. Fuck. I need a drink.


Granite 1st

	Some other big fuss today. Heard some idiot saying the overseer was about to arive. Dinged him upside the head for studipity. Spupidity. Dumbness. I’m the overseer, and I’m already here, aren’t I?

	Told them to start bringing the food and booze straight to my room. If any of them have any questions, they can ask the goddamn roasted dragon corpse for all I care. I’m done.

	Fuck.