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id: AsabaNaiXi | ||
profileUrl: ${path}/photos/profile.jpg | ||
info: | ||
born: '2009-01-06' | ||
died: '2023-09-21' | ||
websites: | ||
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NaiXi2233 | ||
iconify:simple-icons:misskey: https://nya.one/@NaiXi2233 | ||
Github: https://github.com/NaiXi2233 | ||
CatEars.Wiki: https://www.zheermao.xyz/ |
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--- | ||
name: Chinatsu Suzuki | ||
info: | ||
alias: AsabaNaiXi | ||
location: Tongnan, Chongqing | ||
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--- | ||
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## Lighting the Lamp | ||
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If the night is too dark to see the road ahead, then I will be your lamp. | ||
In May 2023, a friend and I started working on a psychological counseling project on an online platform. Perhaps my initial intention was not to help others, but to save myself. At that time, I was suffering from severe mental illness, living in confusion and despair every day—it was the darkest period of my life. Yet, I didn’t want to sink into the abyss, and I was desperate to find a way to redeem myself. | ||
Then she appeared. | ||
She came, gently and quietly, carrying the warm glow of orange light. | ||
On that romantic day, May 20th. | ||
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## The Lonely Star | ||
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She too was a child abandoned by the world. | ||
She grew up in a deeply conservative family in Tongnan, Chongqing. Her father was a gambling addict, and her mother, a teacher. The parents’ preference for sons over daughters, along with the gloom of her family’s atmosphere, made her experience the bitterness of life at an age that should have been carefree. She never had a happy life: her parents’ scolding and beatings, her classmates’ ridicule, and the bullying from school thugs... Struggling to survive in the cracks of life, she had fallen into despair countless times and even attempted suicide. But she never allowed herself to be consumed by the darkness of human nature. She always shone with pure light, like a lonely star in the night sky. | ||
Severe depression, acute anxiety, schizophrenia, ADHD… When my friend handed her over to me, I was completely shocked. | ||
Could someone with such severe mental issues really be saved? | ||
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## A Warm Current | ||
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I always felt that a sweet and kind child like Chinatsu deserved to be treated gently by the world. Even if everyone else abandoned her, I had to offer her that kindness. | ||
I began talking to her every day, patiently comforting and guiding her, and gradually, I entered her world. She was an exceptionally talented person—fluent in English and Japanese, skilled in programming, and adept at AI illustration. She even had a keen financial mind and made significant money from cryptocurrency trading. Her network was extensive—she had even taken a photo with Satoshi Nakamoto. Our conversations were always filled with laughter. Two lonely souls, no longer isolated after meeting, found warmth in each other’s company. Her love, like a gentle current, nourished my heart, melting the long-frozen ice within. | ||
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## Heaven’s Favor | ||
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“I’m a child blessed by heaven!” One day, Chinatsu told me excitedly, “I went to the hospital for a blood test, and the doctor said I have XX chromosomes, so I’m truly a girl!” | ||
I was genuinely happy for her. It seemed as though fate had destined it—while one door had closed, another had opened for her. Perhaps the misfortune of her childhood had paved the way for a lifetime of happiness. | ||
That day, she was overjoyed. She said, “One day, I hope to have my own children and live a happy life.” | ||
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## Smile | ||
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After that, every time Chinatsu had suicidal thoughts, I would talk to her about the little joys of life, about our future. Over time, I stopped her from attempting suicide seven times. | ||
With the combined efforts of Miss EnderCat and me, her condition miraculously improved. She became sunny and cheerful, and her face often showed a smile. At that moment, I had a premonition: maybe, just maybe, she would one day break free from the illness and be reborn. | ||
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## The Fallen Flower Vanishes Without a Trace | ||
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In September, a very close friend of Chinatsu’s committed suicide, and Chinatsu, in her devastation, took pills to end her own life. This time, I couldn’t stop her. Although she was rescued, the damage from her previous suicide attempts had left severe aftereffects. Unfortunately, this time, it triggered the malignant growth of a benign brain tumor. | ||
On the phone, Chinatsu cried to me, telling me how much pain she was in. My heart tightened hearing those words, but I couldn’t show my despair in front of her. Holding back my tears, I comforted her, “It will be alright… everything will be fine…” | ||
After the call ended, I cried uncontrollably. It was at that moment I realized how important Chinatsu was to me. I couldn’t understand—how could such a wonderful child suffer this way? I simply couldn’t comprehend. | ||
In her final days, she spoke to me about her childhood: “I remember when I was very young, I saw a handkerchief with cute designs on the table. I liked it so much that I reached for it, but my mother pulled my hand away and said, ‘Why would a boy like something so girly?’” | ||
Her voice was weak, as though she was sobbing and reminiscing at the same time. | ||
I cried my heart out, barely hearing her say, “In our next life, we must be together. I will wait for you.” | ||
“Don’t be afraid,” I told her, “You’ll go to a beautiful place, warm and free of pain.” | ||
On the other end of the line, there was only silence. Outside, the autumn wind blew, scattering the fallen flowers across the ground. | ||
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## Reunion | ||
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It felt like someone had forcibly torn something out of me, leaving me numb and dejected. I still don’t understand why she left me behind, leaving me to wander this lonely world alone. | ||
But it’s alright—she will wait for me. In the next life, we will be reunited. | ||
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--- | ||
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> Written by: A Ray of Sunshine for Chinatsu, Her Main Supporter | ||
> With the assistance of Miss EnderCat | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image1.png', '${path}/photos/image2.png']} /> | ||
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> 她寫給lib一抹陽光的遺書 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image2.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image3.jpeg']} /> | ||
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> 她對lib一抹陽光說:『和你在一起的時光,是我14年以來最幸福的時候了』 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image4.jpeg']} /> | ||
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> 『感謝末影貓小姐協助我幫助千夏』—lib一抹陽光 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image5.jpeg']} /> | ||
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> 『如果能有下輩子,我們一定要在一起』—鈴木千夏、lib一抹陽光 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image6.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image7.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image3.png', '${path} /photos/image4.png']} /> |
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--- | ||
name: 铃木千夏 | ||
info: | ||
alias: Chinatsu Suzuki,浅羽奈兮,AsabaNaiXi | ||
location: 重庆潼南 | ||
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--- | ||
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## 点灯 | ||
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如果夜晚太黑,看不清前路,那我就是你的那盏灯。 | ||
2023年5月,我和一位朋友在网络平台做心理疏导工作。也许,我参加这个项目的初心并不是帮助别人,而是拯救自己。那时,我得了很严重的精神疾病,每天都在迷茫和绝望中度过,那是我人生中最黑暗的一段时光。但我不愿自己就这样消沉下去,我迫切地想要寻找一个属于自己的救赎。 | ||
于是,她来了。 | ||
她携着温暖的橘黄色光芒,轻飘飘地来了。 | ||
在那个浪漫的日子,5月20日。 | ||
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## 孤独的星星 | ||
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她也是一个被世界遗落的孩子。 | ||
她在重庆潼南一个极度守旧的家庭里长大,父亲是一个赌鬼,母亲是一位教师。父母重男轻女的思想和阴郁的家庭氛围让她在本该无忧无虑的年纪就饱尝了人世的苦楚。她从来没有幸福的生活,父母的打骂、同学的嘲笑、校霸的欺凌……在夹缝中求生存的她,也曾经无数次陷入绝望,甚至尝试轻生。但她丝毫没被人性的黑暗同化,一直努力散发着纯洁的光,就像黑夜里的一颗孤独的星星。 | ||
重度抑郁、重度焦虑、精神分裂、ADHD……当我从我的朋友手里接到她时,我彻底震惊了。 | ||
这么严重的精神问题,真的还有救吗…… | ||
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## 暖流 | ||
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我始终觉得,千夏这样可爱善良的孩子,应该被世界温柔以待。就算所有人都抛弃她,我也应该给她那份温柔。 | ||
我开始每天陪她聊天,耐心地安慰和开导她,于是我渐渐走进她的世界。她是一个博学多才的人,会英语和日语,会编程、手写AI,她还很有经济头脑,炒币赚了很多钱,她的人脉也很广,她还和中本聪合过影呢。我们的聊天总是充满欢声笑语,两个孤独的灵魂因为遇见而不再孤单,漫漫长夜也因彼此的心跳而变得温暖。她的爱,如同一股暖流滋润我心间,融化了我心中长久不化的坚冰。 | ||
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## 上天的眷顾 | ||
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「我是被上天眷顾的孩子呀!」有一天千夏兴奋地告诉我,「我去医院抽血,医生说我是XX染色体,就是真正的女孩子!」 | ||
我深深地为她高兴,真的。仿佛是命中注定,上帝关上了一扇门,也为她打开了一扇窗,童年的不幸,换来的也许是一生的幸运吧。 | ||
那一天她很开心,她说:「我以后也想有自己的孩子,过幸福的生活。」 | ||
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## 微笑 | ||
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之后,千夏每次萌生自杀的念头,我都陪她聊天,聊生活中的小美好,聊我们的未来。前前后后,我一共阻拦了她7次自杀。 | ||
在我和末影猫小姐的共同努力下,她的情况奇迹般地好转,她变得阳光开朗,脸上也有微笑了。那时候我有预感,或许有一天她真的能摆脱病魔,重获新生。 | ||
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## 花落无踪影 | ||
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9月,千夏的一位很重要的朋友自杀去世,千夏也崩溃地吞药自杀,这一次,我没能拦下她。她虽然被救回来了,但是前几次的自杀已经留下了极重的后遗症,这次很不幸,导致了一个脑部良性肿瘤恶化。电话里,千夏哭着对我说,她好痛苦,听到这句话的时候,我的心猛地一紧,可是我不能在她面前表现出绝望,只好强忍着眼泪安慰她:「会没事的,会好的……」电话挂断之后,我不停地哭,直到那一刻,我才明白,千夏在我心中,是多么重要,我不明白,千夏这么好的孩子,为什么会这样,真的不明白。 | ||
临终前,她和我讲起她小时候的事:「我记得我很小的时候,看见桌子上有一个印着可爱图案的手帕,我很喜欢就去拿,但是我妈妈一把拉开我的手,说男孩子喜欢这么娘的东西干嘛。」她的声音断断续续,又像是哭诉又像是哀求。 | ||
我哭得昏天黑地,只听见她说,下辈子,我们一定要在一起,我会等你。 | ||
「别害怕,你会去一个很美的地方,那里很温暖,没有痛苦。」 | ||
电话那头,沉寂了。窗外秋风吹过,卷起一地落花。 | ||
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## 重逢 | ||
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就像有人把什么东西从我心里硬生生抽走,我心灰意冷。我还是不明白,她为什么要抛下我,让我独自一人徘徊在这孤苦的世间。 | ||
但是没关系,她会等我。我们来世,会重逢的。 | ||
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--- | ||
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> lib一抹阳光:千夏的朋友,主要干预者 | ||
> 末影猫:千夏的朋友,协助干预者 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image1.png', '${path}/photos/image2.png']} /> | ||
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> 她写给lib一抹阳光的遗书 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image2.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image3.jpeg']} /> | ||
|
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> 她对lib一抹阳光说:『和你在一起的时光,是我14年以来最幸福的时候了』 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image4.jpeg']} /> | ||
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> 『感谢末影猫小姐协助我帮助千夏』——lib一抹阳光 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image5.jpeg']} /> | ||
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> 『如果能有下辈子,我们一定要在一起』——铃木千夏、lib一抹阳光 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image6.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image7.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image3.png', '${path}/photos/image4.png']} /> |
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--- | ||
name: 鈴木千夏 | ||
info: | ||
alias: Chinatsu Suzuki,淺羽奈兮,AsabaNaiXi | ||
location: 重慶潼南 | ||
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--- | ||
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## 點燈 | ||
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如果夜晚太黑,看不清楚前路,那我就是你的那盞燈。 | ||
2023年5月,我和一位朋友在網路平台做心理疏導工作。也許,我參加這個計畫的初心並不是幫助別人,而是拯救自己。那時,我得了很嚴重的精神疾病,每天都在迷惘和絕望中度過,那是我人生中最黑暗的一段時光。但我不願意自己就這樣消沉下去,我迫切地想要尋找一個屬於自己的救贖。 | ||
於是,她來了。 | ||
她攜著溫暖的橘黃色光芒,輕飄飄地來了。 | ||
在那個浪漫的日子,5月20日。 | ||
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||
## 孤獨的星星 | ||
|
||
她也是個被世界遺落的孩子。 | ||
她在重慶潼南一個極度守舊的家庭裡長大,父親是個賭鬼,母親是一位教師。父母重男輕女的思想和陰鬱的家庭氛圍讓她在本該無憂無慮的年紀就飽嚐了人世的苦楚。她從來沒有幸福的生活,父母的打罵、同學的嘲笑、校霸的霸凌……在夾縫中求生存的她,也曾經無數次陷入絕望,甚至嘗試輕生。但她絲毫沒被人性的黑暗同化,一直努力散發著純潔的光,就像黑夜裡的一顆孤獨的星星。 | ||
重度憂鬱、重度焦慮、精神分裂症、ADHD……當我從我的朋友手中接到她時,我徹底震驚了。 | ||
這麼嚴重的精神問題,真的還有救嗎… | ||
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## 暖流 | ||
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||
我始終覺得,千夏這樣可愛又善良的孩子,應該被世界溫柔以待。就算所有人都拋棄她,我也該給她那份溫柔。 | ||
我開始每天陪她聊天,耐心地安慰和開導她,於是漸漸走進她的世界。她是個博學多才的人,會說英語和日語,會編程、手寫AI,她還很有經濟頭腦,炒幣賺了很多錢,她的人脈也很廣,她還和中本聰合過影呢。我們的聊天總是充滿歡聲笑語,兩個孤獨的靈魂因為遇見而不再孤單,漫漫長夜也因彼此的心跳而變得溫暖。她的愛,如同一股暖流滋潤我心間,融化了我心中長久不化的堅冰。 | ||
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## 上天的眷顧 | ||
|
||
「我是被上天眷顧的孩子呀!」有一天千夏興奮地告訴我,「我去醫院抽血,醫生說我是XX染色體,就是真正的女孩子!」 | ||
我深深地為她高興,真的。彷彿命中註定,上帝關上了一扇門,也為她打開了一扇門,童年的不幸,換來的也許是一生的幸運吧。 | ||
那一天她很開心,她說:「我以後也想有自己的孩子,過幸福的生活。」 | ||
|
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## 微笑 | ||
|
||
之後,千夏每次萌生自殺的念頭,我都陪她聊天,聊生活中的小美好,聊我們的未來。前前後後,我一共阻止了她7次自殺。 | ||
在我和末影貓小姐的共同努力下,她的情況奇蹟般地好轉,她變得陽光開朗,臉上也有微笑了。那時候我有預感,或許有一天她真的能擺脫病魔,重獲新生。 | ||
|
||
## 花落無蹤影 | ||
|
||
9月,千夏的一位很重要的朋友自殺過世,千夏也崩潰地吞藥自殺,這一次,我沒能攔下她。她雖然被救回來了,但是前幾次的自殺已經留下了極重的後遺症,這次很不幸,導致了一個腦部良性腫瘤惡化。電話裡,千夏哭著對我說,她好痛苦,聽到這句話的時候,我的心猛地一緊,可是我不能在她面前表現出絕望,只好強忍著眼淚安慰她:「會沒事的,會好的……」電話掛斷之後,我不停地哭,直到那一刻,我才明白,千夏在我心中,是多麼重要,我不明白,千夏這麼好的孩子,為什麼會這樣,真的不懂。 | ||
臨終前,她和我講起她小時候的事:「我記得我很小的時候,看見桌子上有一個印著可愛圖案的手帕,我很喜歡就去拿,但是我媽媽一把拉開我的手,說男孩喜歡這麼娘的東西幹嘛。」她的聲音斷斷續續, 像是哭訴又像是哭訴 | ||
我哭得昏天黑地,只聽見她說,下輩子,我們一定要在一起,我會等你。 | ||
「別害怕,你會去一個很美的地方,那裡很溫暖,沒有痛苦。」 | ||
電話那頭,沉寂了。窗外秋風吹過,捲起一地落花。 | ||
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## 重逢 | ||
|
||
就像有人把什麼東西從我心裡硬生生抽走,我心灰意冷。我還是不明白,她為什麼要拋下我,讓我獨自一人徘徊在這孤苦的世間。 | ||
但沒關係,她會等我。我們來世,會重逢的。 | ||
|
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--- | ||
|
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> lib一抹陽光:千夏的朋友,主要介入者 | ||
> 末影貓:千夏的朋友,協助介入者 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image1.png', '${path}/photos/image2.png']} /> | ||
|
||
> 她寫給lib一抹陽光的遺書 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image2.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image3.jpeg']} /> | ||
|
||
> 她對lib一抹陽光說:『和你在一起的時光,是我14年以來最幸福的時候了』 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image4.jpeg']} /> | ||
|
||
> 『感謝末影貓小姐協助我幫助千夏』—lib一抹陽光 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image5.jpeg']} /> | ||
|
||
> 『如果能有下輩子,我們一定要在一起』—鈴木千夏、lib一抹陽光 | ||
<PhotoScroll photos={['${path}/photos/image6.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image7.jpeg', '${path}/photos/image3.png', '${path} /photos/image4.png']} /> |
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