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Shitty Ping Pong script

Welcome to Shitty Ping Pong You work at Shitty Corp

You are the lead coder of Shitter, the worlds shittiest social network

The site crashed! You must get it back up ... so get back to your desk!

EMPLOYEES

  • Player
  • Developer
  • Designer
  • Engineer
  • Boss

SCRIPT

ROUND 1 - versus Developer

Developer: Hey, down for a quick pong tournament? Player: After launching code to production? I'm in!!

ROUND 2 - verses Designer

Designer: The site is down and we got hacked! Customers are losing data. Player: It'll be fine, one more game!

ROUND 3 - versus Engineer

Engineer: The servers are on fire we have to evacuate the building! Player: Not after I beat you!

ROUND 4 - versus Boss

Boss: The company is destroyed. If I win, you fix things! Player: Okie dokie!

ENDINGS

LOSE Finally, you go back to your desk and easily fix the app and save the company.

GAME OVER!

WIN Congratulations you won the tournament, the company burns to the ground and you lose your job.

YOU WIN!

PLAYER LINES

Player: That was the last rally of the first game of the tournament, so… it won't be much longer... Player: Actually the code is compiling right now so I couldn't fix it if I wanted to Player: I'm actually solving the problem subconsciously as I am playing, with every smash I get closer to the solution Player: Those danishes are shit, and we only have a couple more games

BOSS LINES

Boss: If you don’t get back to your desk and fix the site HR is going to take away your gourmet breakfasts! Boss: Hurry and finish that god damn game Boss: Get back to your desk, NOW Boss: Our SEO is getting shittier by the minute, head of marketing just stormed out. Boss: Okay fix this shit now all our servers are down Boss: We are being sued, what the shit is taking so long? Boss: The servers are on fire! Boss: Elon is going to fire you! Boss: We've been hacked!