instructions.txt

Step One. Compose the Excuse. Choose one word from the First, Second and Third Columns in the table below, concatenating them to describe the error, situation or problem you're saying has occurred. For particularly unintelligent users, adding the optional fourth parameter may help to clarify that this isn't a situation that should be celebrated...

Example: Inherent Software Corruption
Dumb Example: Inherent Software Corruption Error
Step Two. Compose a story to backup this Excuse. Remember, the more outrageous the story, the more likely the user is to NOT understand it - and therefore believe it.

Unbelievable Explanation (for above excuse) "Well it appears that part of our software is corrupted - possibly because of some hardware error"
Believable Explanation: "It seems that the Inherency of the Software is corrupt - not the actual software itself. We're looking at getting some artificial Inherency in to solve the problem..." Step Three Get the user to become part of the problem.

Example "..But the Artificial Inherency costs about 50 bucks a user. If you could just send us the money, we'll get you sorted out"
Another Example "..But the Artificial Inherency isn't Right Hand User Compatible - I dunno, it's Welsh or something - so you're going to have to type with your left hand for the next 2 hours.."