diff --git a/Cargo.lock b/Cargo.lock
index 85095bf7f..1700f9910 100644
--- a/Cargo.lock
+++ b/Cargo.lock
@@ -81,7 +81,7 @@ checksum = "d1eb7c4fcde1858a6796c18a729b661346d38e05a207e2d9028bce822fc20283"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -212,7 +212,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "argh_shared",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -288,7 +288,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "serde",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -398,7 +398,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "strum",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "thiserror",
 ]
 
@@ -434,7 +434,7 @@ checksum = "3b43422f69d8ff38f95f1b2bb76517c91589a924d1559a0e935d7c8ce0274c11"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -456,7 +456,7 @@ checksum = "16e62a023e7c117e27523144c5d2459f4397fcc3cab0085af8e2224f643a0193"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -467,7 +467,7 @@ checksum = "721cae7de5c34fbb2acd27e21e6d2cf7b886dce0c27388d46c4e6c47ea4318dd"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -628,7 +628,7 @@ checksum = "57d123550fa8d071b7255cb0cc04dc302baa6c8c4a79f55701552684d8399bce"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1065,7 +1065,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "heck 0.5.0",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1528,19 +1528,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "syn 1.0.109",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "cssparser"
-version = "0.31.2"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "5b3df4f93e5fbbe73ec01ec8d3f68bba73107993a5b1e7519273c32db9b0d5be"
-dependencies = [
- "cssparser-macros",
- "dtoa-short",
- "itoa 1.0.11",
- "phf 0.11.2",
- "smallvec",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "cssparser-macros"
 version = "0.6.1"
@@ -1548,7 +1535,7 @@ source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "13b588ba4ac1a99f7f2964d24b3d896ddc6bf847ee3855dbd4366f058cfcd331"
 dependencies = [
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1594,7 +1581,7 @@ checksum = "f46882e17999c6cc590af592290432be3bce0428cb0d5f8b6715e4dc7b383eb3"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1618,7 +1605,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "strsim",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1629,7 +1616,7 @@ checksum = "d336a2a514f6ccccaa3e09b02d41d35330c07ddf03a62165fcec10bb561c7806"
 dependencies = [
  "darling_core",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1659,7 +1646,7 @@ checksum = "8034092389675178f570469e6c3b0465d3d30b4505c294a6550db47f3c17ad18"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1690,7 +1677,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "darling",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1700,7 +1687,7 @@ source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "4abae7035bf79b9877b779505d8cf3749285b80c43941eda66604841889451dc"
 dependencies = [
  "derive_builder_core",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1713,7 +1700,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "rustc_version",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1733,7 +1720,7 @@ checksum = "cb7330aeadfbe296029522e6c40f315320aba36fc43a5b3632f3795348f3bd22"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1775,7 +1762,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "dsl_auto_type",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1804,7 +1791,7 @@ version = "0.2.0"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "209c735641a413bc68c4923a9d6ad4bcb3ca306b794edaa7eb0b3228a99ffb25"
 dependencies = [
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1833,7 +1820,7 @@ checksum = "97369cbbc041bc366949bc74d34658d6cda5621039731c6310521892a3a20ae0"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1858,7 +1845,7 @@ checksum = "27540baf49be0d484d8f0130d7d8da3011c32a44d4fc873368154f1510e574a2"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1878,7 +1865,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "heck 0.5.0",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -1940,12 +1927,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "zeroize",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "ego-tree"
-version = "0.6.3"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "12a0bb14ac04a9fcf170d0bbbef949b44cc492f4452bd20c095636956f653642"
-
 [[package]]
 name = "either"
 version = "1.13.0"
@@ -2028,7 +2009,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "heck 0.5.0",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -2039,7 +2020,7 @@ checksum = "ba7795da175654fe16979af73f81f26a8ea27638d8d9823d317016888a63dc4c"
 dependencies = [
  "num-traits",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -2051,7 +2032,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "once_cell",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -2271,7 +2252,7 @@ checksum = "1458c6e22d36d61507034d5afecc64f105c1d39712b7ac6ec3b352c423f715cc"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -2291,16 +2272,6 @@ version = "1.3.0"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "42703706b716c37f96a77aea830392ad231f44c9e9a67872fa5548707e11b11c"
 
-[[package]]
-name = "futf"
-version = "0.1.5"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "df420e2e84819663797d1ec6544b13c5be84629e7bb00dc960d6917db2987843"
-dependencies = [
- "mac",
- "new_debug_unreachable",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "futures"
 version = "0.3.30"
@@ -2357,7 +2328,7 @@ checksum = "87750cf4b7a4c0625b1529e4c543c2182106e4dedc60a2a6455e00d212c489ac"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -2446,7 +2417,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "regex",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -2547,7 +2518,7 @@ checksum = "53010ccb100b96a67bc32c0175f0ed1426b31b655d562898e57325f81c023ac0"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -2804,20 +2775,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "windows",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "html5ever"
-version = "0.27.0"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "c13771afe0e6e846f1e67d038d4cb29998a6779f93c809212e4e9c32efd244d4"
-dependencies = [
- "log",
- "mac",
- "markup5ever",
- "proc-macro2",
- "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "http"
 version = "1.1.0"
@@ -3132,7 +3089,7 @@ checksum = "1ec89e9337638ecdc08744df490b221a7399bf8d164eb52a665454e60e075ad6"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -3661,7 +3618,7 @@ version = "0.0.1-pre.6"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -3696,7 +3653,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "kitsune-derive",
  "kitsune-error",
  "kitsune-http-client",
- "scraper",
+ "schaber",
  "smol_str",
 ]
 
@@ -4285,7 +4242,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "regex-syntax",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -4305,14 +4262,14 @@ checksum = "964b47c14635e111f7efddcd8f1f8794195f66225fef19822fa942b217a859cf"
 dependencies = [
  "bitflags 2.6.0",
  "cfg-if",
- "cssparser 0.27.2",
+ "cssparser",
  "encoding_rs",
  "hashbrown 0.13.2",
  "lazy_static",
  "lazycell",
  "memchr",
  "mime",
- "selectors 0.22.0",
+ "selectors",
  "thiserror",
 ]
 
@@ -4325,12 +4282,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "linked-hash-map",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "mac"
-version = "0.1.1"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "c41e0c4fef86961ac6d6f8a82609f55f31b05e4fce149ac5710e439df7619ba4"
-
 [[package]]
 name = "mach2"
 version = "0.4.2"
@@ -4340,20 +4291,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "libc",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "markup5ever"
-version = "0.12.1"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "16ce3abbeba692c8b8441d036ef91aea6df8da2c6b6e21c7e14d3c18e526be45"
-dependencies = [
- "log",
- "phf 0.11.2",
- "phf_codegen 0.11.2",
- "string_cache",
- "string_cache_codegen",
- "tendril",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "masto-id-convert"
 version = "0.0.1-pre.6"
@@ -4409,7 +4346,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "structmeta",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -4479,7 +4416,7 @@ checksum = "dcf09caffaac8068c346b6df2a7fc27a177fd20b39421a39ce0a211bde679a6c"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -4659,12 +4596,6 @@ version = "0.7.0"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "6a51313c5820b0b02bd422f4b44776fbf47961755c74ce64afc73bfad10226c3"
 
-[[package]]
-name = "new_debug_unreachable"
-version = "1.0.6"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "650eef8c711430f1a879fdd01d4745a7deea475becfb90269c06775983bbf086"
-
 [[package]]
 name = "nodrop"
 version = "0.1.14"
@@ -4722,7 +4653,7 @@ checksum = "ed3955f1a9c7c0c15e092f9c887db08b1fc683305fdf6eb6684f22555355e202"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -5129,7 +5060,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "pest_meta",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -5185,26 +5116,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "phf_shared 0.8.0",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "phf_codegen"
-version = "0.10.0"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "4fb1c3a8bc4dd4e5cfce29b44ffc14bedd2ee294559a294e2a4d4c9e9a6a13cd"
-dependencies = [
- "phf_generator 0.10.0",
- "phf_shared 0.10.0",
-]
-
-[[package]]
-name = "phf_codegen"
-version = "0.11.2"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "e8d39688d359e6b34654d328e262234662d16cc0f60ec8dcbe5e718709342a5a"
-dependencies = [
- "phf_generator 0.11.2",
- "phf_shared 0.11.2",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "phf_generator"
 version = "0.8.0"
@@ -5273,7 +5184,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "phf_shared 0.11.2",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -5320,7 +5231,7 @@ checksum = "2f38a4412a78282e09a2cf38d195ea5420d15ba0602cb375210efbc877243965"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -5446,7 +5357,7 @@ source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "479cf940fbbb3426c32c5d5176f62ad57549a0bb84773423ba8be9d089f5faba"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -5506,7 +5417,7 @@ checksum = "6ff7ff745a347b87471d859a377a9a404361e7efc2a971d73424a6d183c0fc77"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -5529,7 +5440,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "itertools 0.13.0",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -5930,7 +5841,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "regex",
  "relative-path",
  "rustc_version",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "unicode-ident",
 ]
 
@@ -5965,7 +5876,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "rust-embed-utils",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "walkdir",
 ]
 
@@ -6124,6 +6035,14 @@ dependencies = [
  "winapi-util",
 ]
 
+[[package]]
+name = "schaber"
+version = "0.0.1-pre.6"
+dependencies = [
+ "lol_html",
+ "thiserror",
+]
+
 [[package]]
 name = "schannel"
 version = "0.1.24"
@@ -6155,7 +6074,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "serde_derive_internals",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6174,21 +6093,6 @@ version = "1.2.0"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "94143f37725109f92c262ed2cf5e59bce7498c01bcc1502d7b9afe439a4e9f49"
 
-[[package]]
-name = "scraper"
-version = "0.20.0"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "b90460b31bfe1fc07be8262e42c665ad97118d4585869de9345a84d501a9eaf0"
-dependencies = [
- "ahash",
- "cssparser 0.31.2",
- "ego-tree",
- "html5ever",
- "once_cell",
- "selectors 0.25.0",
- "tendril",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "sec1"
 version = "0.7.3"
@@ -6233,38 +6137,19 @@ source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "df320f1889ac4ba6bc0cdc9c9af7af4bd64bb927bccdf32d81140dc1f9be12fe"
 dependencies = [
  "bitflags 1.3.2",
- "cssparser 0.27.2",
+ "cssparser",
  "derive_more 0.99.18",
  "fxhash",
  "log",
  "matches",
  "phf 0.8.0",
- "phf_codegen 0.8.0",
+ "phf_codegen",
  "precomputed-hash",
- "servo_arc 0.1.1",
+ "servo_arc",
  "smallvec",
  "thin-slice",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "selectors"
-version = "0.25.0"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "4eb30575f3638fc8f6815f448d50cb1a2e255b0897985c8c59f4d37b72a07b06"
-dependencies = [
- "bitflags 2.6.0",
- "cssparser 0.31.2",
- "derive_more 0.99.18",
- "fxhash",
- "log",
- "new_debug_unreachable",
- "phf 0.10.1",
- "phf_codegen 0.10.0",
- "precomputed-hash",
- "servo_arc 0.3.0",
- "smallvec",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "semver"
 version = "1.0.23"
@@ -6301,7 +6186,7 @@ checksum = "243902eda00fad750862fc144cea25caca5e20d615af0a81bee94ca738f1df1f"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6312,7 +6197,7 @@ checksum = "18d26a20a969b9e3fdf2fc2d9f21eda6c40e2de84c9408bb5d3b05d499aae711"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6367,7 +6252,7 @@ checksum = "6c64451ba24fc7a6a2d60fc75dd9c83c90903b19028d4eff35e88fc1e86564e9"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6427,7 +6312,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "darling",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6440,15 +6325,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "stable_deref_trait",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "servo_arc"
-version = "0.3.0"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "d036d71a959e00c77a63538b90a6c2390969f9772b096ea837205c6bd0491a44"
-dependencies = [
- "stable_deref_trait",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "sha-1"
 version = "0.10.1"
@@ -6699,32 +6575,6 @@ version = "1.1.2"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
 checksum = "d7beae5182595e9a8b683fa98c4317f956c9a2dec3b9716990d20023cc60c766"
 
-[[package]]
-name = "string_cache"
-version = "0.8.7"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "f91138e76242f575eb1d3b38b4f1362f10d3a43f47d182a5b359af488a02293b"
-dependencies = [
- "new_debug_unreachable",
- "once_cell",
- "parking_lot",
- "phf_shared 0.10.0",
- "precomputed-hash",
- "serde",
-]
-
-[[package]]
-name = "string_cache_codegen"
-version = "0.5.2"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "6bb30289b722be4ff74a408c3cc27edeaad656e06cb1fe8fa9231fa59c728988"
-dependencies = [
- "phf_generator 0.10.0",
- "phf_shared 0.10.0",
- "proc-macro2",
- "quote",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "stringprep"
 version = "0.1.5"
@@ -6751,7 +6601,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "structmeta-derive",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6762,7 +6612,7 @@ checksum = "152a0b65a590ff6c3da95cabe2353ee04e6167c896b28e3b14478c2636c922fc"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6785,7 +6635,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
  "rustversion",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6838,9 +6688,9 @@ dependencies = [
 
 [[package]]
 name = "syn"
-version = "2.0.78"
+version = "2.0.79"
 source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "81b9b4733a9c8b8aaa20634df36eeb68cc0c0669f2e18fb287006b496a14195d"
+checksum = "89132cd0bf050864e1d38dc3bbc07a0eb8e7530af26344d3d2bbbef83499f590"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
@@ -6867,7 +6717,7 @@ checksum = "c8af7666ab7b6390ab78131fb5b0fce11d6b7a6951602017c35fa82800708971"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -6911,17 +6761,6 @@ dependencies = [
  "windows-sys 0.59.0",
 ]
 
-[[package]]
-name = "tendril"
-version = "0.4.3"
-source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
-checksum = "d24a120c5fc464a3458240ee02c299ebcb9d67b5249c8848b09d639dca8d7bb0"
-dependencies = [
- "futf",
- "mac",
- "utf-8",
-]
-
 [[package]]
 name = "termcolor"
 version = "1.4.1"
@@ -6984,7 +6823,7 @@ checksum = "08904e7672f5eb876eaaf87e0ce17857500934f4981c4a0ab2b4aa98baac7fc3"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -7087,7 +6926,7 @@ checksum = "8d9ef545650e79f30233c0003bcc2504d7efac6dad25fca40744de773fe2049c"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -7117,7 +6956,7 @@ checksum = "5f5ae998a069d4b5aba8ee9dad856af7d520c3699e6159b185c2acd48155d39a"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -7423,7 +7262,7 @@ checksum = "34704c8d6ebcbc939824180af020566b01a7c01f80641264eba0999f6c2b6be7"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -7558,7 +7397,7 @@ checksum = "560b82d656506509d43abe30e0ba64c56b1953ab3d4fe7ba5902747a7a3cedd5"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -7594,7 +7433,7 @@ checksum = "70b20a22c42c8f1cd23ce5e34f165d4d37038f5b663ad20fb6adbdf029172483"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -7842,7 +7681,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "once_cell",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "wasm-bindgen-shared",
 ]
 
@@ -7876,7 +7715,7 @@ checksum = "afc340c74d9005395cf9dd098506f7f44e38f2b4a21c6aaacf9a105ea5e1e836"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "wasm-bindgen-backend",
  "wasm-bindgen-shared",
 ]
@@ -8005,7 +7844,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "anyhow",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "wasmtime-component-util",
  "wasmtime-wit-bindgen",
  "wit-parser",
@@ -8122,7 +7961,7 @@ checksum = "e9bb1f01efb8b542eadfda511e8ea1cc54309451aba97b69969e5b1a59cb7ded"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -8552,7 +8391,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "heck 0.5.0",
  "indexmap 2.5.0",
  "prettyplease",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "wasm-metadata",
  "wit-bindgen-core",
  "wit-component",
@@ -8568,7 +8407,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "prettyplease",
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "wit-bindgen-core",
  "wit-bindgen-rust",
 ]
@@ -8689,7 +8528,7 @@ checksum = "28cc31741b18cb6f1d5ff12f5b7523e3d6eb0852bbbad19d73905511d9849b95"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "synstructure",
 ]
 
@@ -8711,7 +8550,7 @@ checksum = "fa4f8080344d4671fb4e831a13ad1e68092748387dfc4f55e356242fae12ce3e"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -8731,7 +8570,7 @@ checksum = "0ea7b4a3637ea8669cedf0f1fd5c286a17f3de97b8dd5a70a6c167a1730e63a5"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
  "synstructure",
 ]
 
@@ -8752,7 +8591,7 @@ checksum = "ce36e65b0d2999d2aafac989fb249189a141aee1f53c612c1f37d72631959f69"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
@@ -8774,7 +8613,7 @@ checksum = "6eafa6dfb17584ea3e2bd6e76e0cc15ad7af12b09abdd1ca55961bed9b1063c6"
 dependencies = [
  "proc-macro2",
  "quote",
- "syn 2.0.78",
+ "syn 2.0.79",
 ]
 
 [[package]]
diff --git a/Cargo.toml b/Cargo.toml
index 53c438769..128bd62b1 100644
--- a/Cargo.toml
+++ b/Cargo.toml
@@ -66,6 +66,7 @@ members = [
     "lib/mrf-manifest",
     "lib/mrf-tool",
     "lib/post-process",
+    "lib/schaber",
     "lib/speedy-uuid",
     "lib/tick-tock-mock",
     "lib/tower-http-digest",
@@ -162,6 +163,7 @@ just-retry = { path = "lib/just-retry" }
 masto-id-convert = { path = "lib/masto-id-convert" }
 mrf-manifest = { path = "lib/mrf-manifest" }
 post-process = { path = "lib/post-process" }
+schaber = { path = "lib/schaber" }
 speedy-uuid = { path = "lib/speedy-uuid", features = ["serde"] }
 tick-tock-mock = { path = "lib/tick-tock-mock" }
 tower-http-digest = { path = "lib/tower-http-digest" }
diff --git a/crates/kitsune-derive/impl/Cargo.toml b/crates/kitsune-derive/impl/Cargo.toml
index 397d5c045..1cf2afebe 100644
--- a/crates/kitsune-derive/impl/Cargo.toml
+++ b/crates/kitsune-derive/impl/Cargo.toml
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ proc-macro = true
 [dependencies]
 proc-macro2 = "1.0.86"
 quote = "1.0.37"
-syn = { version = "2.0.78", features = ["full"] }
+syn = { version = "2.0.79", features = ["full"] }
 
 [lints]
 workspace = true
diff --git a/crates/kitsune-embed/Cargo.toml b/crates/kitsune-embed/Cargo.toml
index 98d754977..b2261ae53 100644
--- a/crates/kitsune-embed/Cargo.toml
+++ b/crates/kitsune-embed/Cargo.toml
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ kitsune-derive = { workspace = true }
 kitsune-error = { workspace = true }
 kitsune-http-client = { workspace = true }
 lantern-client-sdk = { package = "client-sdk", git = "https://github.com/Lantern-chat/client-sdk-rs.git", rev = "efb4288d9b107b48609802193d57b29f7ae395a1", default-features = false }
-scraper = { version = "0.20.0", default-features = false }
+schaber = { workspace = true }
 smol_str = "0.3.1"
 
 [lints]
diff --git a/crates/kitsune-embed/src/lib.rs b/crates/kitsune-embed/src/lib.rs
index b3282fdb1..e484f0d24 100644
--- a/crates/kitsune-embed/src/lib.rs
+++ b/crates/kitsune-embed/src/lib.rs
@@ -12,24 +12,26 @@ use kitsune_derive::kitsune_service;
 use kitsune_error::Result;
 use kitsune_http_client::Client as HttpClient;
 use lantern_client_sdk::models::EmbedWithExpire;
-use scraper::{Html, Selector};
+use schaber::Scraper;
 use smol_str::SmolStr;
-use std::sync::LazyLock;
+use std::{ops::ControlFlow, sync::LazyLock};
 
 pub use lantern_client_sdk::models::{Embed, EmbedType};
 
-static LINK_SELECTOR: LazyLock<Selector> = LazyLock::new(|| {
-    Selector::parse("a:not(.mention, .hashtag)").expect("[Bug] Failed to parse link HTML selector")
+static LINK_SCRAPER: LazyLock<Scraper> = LazyLock::new(|| {
+    Scraper::new("a:not(.mention, .hashtag)").expect("[Bug] Failed to parse link HTML selector")
 });
 
 fn first_link_from_fragment(fragment: &str) -> Option<String> {
-    let parsed_fragment = Html::parse_fragment(fragment);
+    let mut link = None;
+    LINK_SCRAPER
+        .process(fragment, |element| {
+            link = element.get_attribute("href");
+            ControlFlow::Break(())
+        })
+        .unwrap();
 
-    parsed_fragment
-        .select(&LINK_SELECTOR)
-        .next()
-        .and_then(|element| element.value().attr("href"))
-        .map(ToString::to_string)
+    link
 }
 
 #[kitsune_service]
diff --git a/lib/schaber/Cargo.toml b/lib/schaber/Cargo.toml
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..17b26ba52
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lib/schaber/Cargo.toml
@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
+[package]
+name = "schaber"
+authors.workspace = true
+edition.workspace = true
+version.workspace = true
+license = "MIT OR Apache-2.0"
+
+[dependencies]
+lol_html = "2.0.0"
+thiserror = "1.0.64"
+
+[lints]
+workspace = true
diff --git a/lib/schaber/LICENSE-APACHE-2.0 b/lib/schaber/LICENSE-APACHE-2.0
new file mode 120000
index 000000000..bffaaba2f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lib/schaber/LICENSE-APACHE-2.0
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+../../LICENSE-APACHE-2.0
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/lib/schaber/LICENSE-MIT b/lib/schaber/LICENSE-MIT
new file mode 120000
index 000000000..b2cfbdc7b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lib/schaber/LICENSE-MIT
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+../../LICENSE-MIT
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/lib/schaber/src/lib.rs b/lib/schaber/src/lib.rs
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..c49f92127
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lib/schaber/src/lib.rs
@@ -0,0 +1,89 @@
+use lol_html::{
+    errors::{RewritingError, SelectorError},
+    html_content::Element,
+    ElementContentHandlers, HandlerResult, HtmlRewriter, Selector, Settings,
+};
+use std::{borrow::Cow, ops::ControlFlow, str::FromStr};
+use thiserror::Error;
+
+type Result<T, E = Error> = std::result::Result<T, E>;
+
+/// Ignore any content handler "errors", since we use these errors
+/// as our means of communicating control flow
+macro_rules! handle_error {
+    ($error_expr:expr) => {{
+        match { $error_expr } {
+            Err(::lol_html::errors::RewritingError::ContentHandlerError(..)) => return Ok(()),
+            other => other,
+        }
+    }};
+}
+
+#[derive(Debug, Error)]
+#[error("small sacrifice for the lol_html gods")]
+struct Sacrifice;
+
+#[derive(Debug, Error)]
+pub enum Error {
+    #[error(transparent)]
+    InvalidSelector(#[from] SelectorError),
+
+    #[error(transparent)]
+    RewriteError(#[from] RewritingError),
+}
+
+pub struct Scraper {
+    element_selector: Selector,
+}
+
+impl Scraper {
+    pub fn new(selector: &str) -> Result<Self> {
+        Ok(Self {
+            element_selector: Selector::from_str(selector)?,
+        })
+    }
+
+    pub fn process<I, H>(&self, input: I, mut handler: H) -> Result<()>
+    where
+        I: AsRef<[u8]>,
+        H: FnMut(&Element<'_, '_>) -> ControlFlow<()>,
+    {
+        #[inline]
+        fn handler_assert<F>(uwu: F) -> F
+        where
+            F: FnMut(&mut Element<'_, '_>) -> HandlerResult,
+        {
+            uwu
+        }
+
+        #[inline]
+        fn sink_assert<F>(uwu: F) -> F
+        where
+            F: FnMut(&[u8]),
+        {
+            uwu
+        }
+
+        let mut rewriter = HtmlRewriter::new(
+            Settings {
+                element_content_handlers: vec![(
+                    Cow::Borrowed(&self.element_selector),
+                    ElementContentHandlers::default().element(handler_assert(|el| {
+                        if handler(el).is_continue() {
+                            Ok(())
+                        } else {
+                            Err(Box::new(Sacrifice))
+                        }
+                    })),
+                )],
+                ..Settings::new()
+            },
+            sink_assert(|_| {}),
+        );
+
+        handle_error!(rewriter.write(input.as_ref()))?;
+        handle_error!(rewriter.end())?;
+
+        Ok(())
+    }
+}
diff --git a/lib/schaber/tests/basic.rs b/lib/schaber/tests/basic.rs
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..0afbe44c7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lib/schaber/tests/basic.rs
@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
+use schaber::Scraper;
+use std::ops::ControlFlow;
+
+#[test]
+fn select_link() {
+    let html = r#"
+        <div id="hello">
+            <a href="http://druckbrudi.lab">
+                PRINT MORE BLÅHAJ CATEARS!
+            </a>
+        </div>
+    "#;
+
+    let mut link_url = None;
+    let scraper = Scraper::new("a").unwrap();
+
+    scraper
+        .process(html, |element| {
+            link_url = element.get_attribute("href");
+            ControlFlow::Break(())
+        })
+        .unwrap();
+
+    assert_eq!(link_url.as_deref(), Some("http://druckbrudi.lab"));
+}
diff --git a/lib/schaber/tests/control_flow.rs b/lib/schaber/tests/control_flow.rs
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..4199b68d5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lib/schaber/tests/control_flow.rs
@@ -0,0 +1,56 @@
+use schaber::Scraper;
+use std::ops::ControlFlow;
+
+#[test]
+fn ends_after_break() {
+    let html = r#"
+        <div id="hello">
+            <a href="http://druckbrudi.lab">
+                PRINT MORE BLÅHAJ CATEARS!
+            </a>
+
+            <a href="http://evil.com">
+                This link shall not be seen!
+            </a>
+        </div>
+    "#;
+
+    let mut link_url = None;
+    let scraper = Scraper::new("a").unwrap();
+
+    scraper
+        .process(html, |element| {
+            link_url = element.get_attribute("href");
+            ControlFlow::Break(())
+        })
+        .unwrap();
+
+    assert_eq!(link_url.as_deref(), Some("http://druckbrudi.lab"));
+}
+
+#[test]
+fn continues_after_continue() {
+    let html = r#"
+        <div id="hello">
+            <a href="http://druckbrudi.lab">
+                PRINT MORE BLÅHAJ CATEARS!
+            </a>
+
+            <a href="https://good.org">
+                This link shall be seen!
+            </a>
+        </div>
+    "#;
+
+    let mut link_url = None;
+    let scraper = Scraper::new("a").unwrap();
+
+    scraper
+        .process(html, |element| {
+            link_url = element.get_attribute("href");
+            ControlFlow::Continue(())
+        })
+        .unwrap();
+
+    assert_eq!(link_url.as_deref(), Some("https://good.org"));
+}