First Helm install should use equivalent of install --upgrade

[markgoddard]

Cofidectl up performs first a helm install, then waits for services to come up, then optionally modifies the helm values for federation and runs a helm upgrade.

If spire server config is broken for some reason, it is not possible to fix it, because the first helm install only executes when the release does not exist. Since the server is broken, the service never comes up and the command hangs.

To address this, we should change the first helm install to a helm upgrade --install (or go module equivalent).