From 6e6de13285af53cf235781c2293d9245679e9fdf Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Michael Sullivan <69169190+m-sullivan7@users.noreply.github.com> Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2023 15:02:18 -0800 Subject: [PATCH] Update write-with-conversational-official-voice.md Updated example formats --- .../write-with-conversational-official-voice.md | 17 ++++++++++++++--- 1 file changed, 14 insertions(+), 3 deletions(-) diff --git a/docs/pages/content-design/principles/write-with-conversational-official-voice.md b/docs/pages/content-design/principles/write-with-conversational-official-voice.md index b8e58139..18d1d771 100644 --- a/docs/pages/content-design/principles/write-with-conversational-official-voice.md +++ b/docs/pages/content-design/principles/write-with-conversational-official-voice.md @@ -29,10 +29,21 @@ A conversational tone and an official one can seem like they’re opposites of e * Use common contractions like **you’ll**, **it’s**, and **we’ll**. * Do not use uncommon contractions like **this’ll**, **y’all**, and **ain’t**. * Refer to people as **you**, and the government or department as **we**, as long as it’s clear who **we** refers to. This lowers the feeling of a divide between people and the state. - * For example: _If you need benefits, apply by May 23, 2021_. Do not say _The benefits application deadline is May 23, 2021_. - * Do not use **me** or **my**. It’s unclear if it refers to the reader or the writer. + * Do not use **I**, **me**, or **my**. It’s unclear if it refers to the reader or the writer. +| **Say** | **Don't say** | +| ----- | ----- | +| If you need benefits, apply by May 23, 2021. | The benefits application deadline is May 23, 2021. | +| We will review your request in 5 business days or less. | The application must have all of my data. | +| The application must have all of your data. | Every request the department receives will be reviewed within no more than 5 business days. | * Use transition words where it makes sense. Start sentences with **And** or **But** to show the relationship between pieces of information. - * Example (courtesy of [Plainlanguage.gov's Use transition words](https://www.plainlanguage.gov/guidelines/organize/use-transition-words/)): _A topic sentence may provide a transition from one paragraph to another. But a transition word or phrase (usually in the topic sentence) clearly tells the audience whether the paragraph expands on the paragraph before, contrasts with it, or takes a completely different direction._ + +
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Example:
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A good DIF project will help Californians live healthier, safer, more secure lives. Or it may help state staff do their jobs more effectively.
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+ * Vary the lengths of your sentences and paragraphs. This makes your writing sound natural. * Avoid jargon or unfamiliar terms. If you must use them, do so sparingly, and define them for the reader.