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Interview with a Psychotherapist - Part III |
interview-with-a-psychotherapist-3 |
In the second part of our “Interview on Shame” with psychotherapist Dr. Bahri from Berlin, we talk about shame, cringe, hedonism, and communal healing from a psychotherapeutic viewpoint. We explore the differences between shame and cringe, the potential benefits and challenges of hedonism, the importance of belonging to a supportive community, and the significance of expressing sexual needs for mental well-being. |
2023-10-26 |
Dr. Bahri |
/blog/interview-with-a-psychotherapist-3.webp |
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In the third part of our “Interview on Shame” with psychotherapist Dr. Bahri from Berlin, we talk about shame around sexuality. How much of this shame is really ours and how much of it is placed upon us but cultural and societal norms? What kind of sexual behavior is considered pathological and how did those norms evolve throughout history? Dr. Bahri answers those and more questions in the third part of our interview.
** The experience of shame related to sexuality is a complex interplay of biological, psychological, cultural, and social factors.**
- Why do we feel so much shame around sexual topics, even with our closest companions?
Shame is an interpersonal and acquired emotion that can vary between individuals and cultures. While the capacity to feel shame may be inherent, what triggers shame and the intensity of the emotion will be influenced by early experiences and cultural norms.
Overall, the experience of shame related to sexuality is a complex interplay of biological, psychological, cultural, and social factors. Understanding these factors can provide insights into the origins and variations of shame in different individuals and cultures.
- How have societal attitudes and cultural norms contributed to the association of shame with sexuality?
In regards to sexual topics, it is true that many societies have historically attached shame to sexuality, particularly when it comes to certain aspects such as nudity or discussions about sex. The reasons behind this can be attributed to various factors. One perspective suggests that individuals may develop a sense of shame around sexual topics due to early socialization experiences, where they are taught that certain aspects of sexuality are inappropriate or taboo. This socialization can come from parents, relatives, or broader cultural influences.
- Why is it important to overcome shame in order to fully embrace and express our sexual identities?
It is suggested that overcoming this sense of shame is necessary to fully embrace and express one's sexual being. Freud's theory of psychosexual development, although not as widely accepted in current scientific circles, touches on the idea of early eroticism and the latency phase, which involves a decrease in overt sexual behavior during childhood and a resurgence of sexual development during puberty. Cultural norms, biological and hormonal factors, as well as personal experiences, can all contribute to the development of individual attitudes and behaviors related to sexuality. It is important to deconstruct certain narratives around sexuality if they no longer serve us.
- Why does the sexualization of certain body parts and behaviors vary across different cultures, and how does this influence perceptions of shame?
The sexualization of certain body parts or behaviors can vary across cultures. For example, in cultures where women commonly breastfeed in public, there may be less shame associated with exposed breasts. This illustrates how societal and cultural factors shape our perception of what is considered sexual and, consequently, what elicits shame.
Individual differences also play a role in the experience of shame. People who have had different family experiences or possess different personality traits, such as higher or lower inhibitory frontal activity, may exhibit varying levels of shame in relation to sexual topics.
In addition to these individual and psychological factors, broader social currents can influence the experience of shame. Throughout history, certain cultures, particularly the bourgeoisie, have placed a high value on the repression of animalistic and libidinal impulses, emphasizing intellectual and moral superiority. These cultural ideals have influenced societal expectations and norms regarding sexual behavior.
The pathologization of homosexuality in the past is a prime example of how societal norms and perspectives can influence the perception of sexual behavior.
- How have societal perspectives on various sexual behaviors and preferences evolved over time?
You bring up some important points regarding the historical context and changing societal norms surrounding sexuality. It's true that attitudes towards various sexual behaviors and preferences have shifted over time, and what was once pathologized or considered deviant is now understood differently.
The pathologization of homosexuality in the past is a prime example of how societal norms and perspectives can influence the perception of sexual behavior. Many countries have decriminalized homosexuality and recognized the rights of LGBTQ+ individuals in recent decades, acknowledging that sexual orientation is a natural and normal variation of human sexuality.
It is worth noting that societal attitudes towards sexuality have evolved over time, and what was once considered shameful may no longer hold the same significance in contemporary societies. While remnants of these historical attitudes may still influence certain structures and individuals, societal perceptions of sexuality are diverse and can vary between different social classes, cultures, and time periods.
** There has been a shift towards recognizing that consensual and non-harmful sexual practices should not be pathologized.**
- When is the desire for sexual expression seen as unhealthy or pathological today?
Regarding the broader topic of sexual preferences and behaviors, there has been a shift towards recognizing that consensual and non-harmful sexual practices should not be pathologized. The focus has shifted from attempting to change or "cure" individuals with certain preferences to ensuring that individuals can have fulfilling and safe sexual lives while minimizing harm and suffering.
- What therapeutic approaches are currently used to address sexual preferences and behaviors?
Therapeutic approaches today often emphasize harm reduction, consent, and communication in the context of sexual preferences. The goal is to help individuals understand and navigate their desires and preferences while ensuring they engage in consensual and safe practices that do not cause harm to themselves or others.
Dr. Bahri
Stay tuned for part IV!